This is my last blog. But don't worry, I'll call you sometime...

Let's face it. I won't call. I say I will but we all know I won't. First of all, I don't know who you people are so the chance of me having your phone number is just creepy.

The show has finished and the guys left me stuck cleaning out the "virtual office". It's been fun hanging out with everyone (haters included because let's face it, you guys expressing your opinions are what makes us who we are).

I have to admit that doing the warm-up for the show for the past number of seasons (but not the first season because Steve Trevino did it then) has been a great opportunity for me. It's a different beast from stand-up because you really have to hang out with people and get to know them.

Here in my little corner office of the internet, I tried to talk about current event stuff and throw in pictures and behind the scene footage from the show. I know that this blog isn't about me, it's about the show, Mind of Mencia and about stuff that happens every day. I am very happy that I had the chance to do this. So thank you to everyone that read the blogs, I just hope that you enjoyed some of them. This isn't a good-bye but rather a "see you later".

Thank you everyone for making this a phenomenal year on behalf of me and the hundreds of people that make this show possible. I'm including pictures of highlights so that you can enjoy! Mencia just posted a blog that sums up his feelings about this past year. I think it's only fitting that we end this with his blog because let's face it...without him, it would be Mind of _____.

"So I’m on a plane listening to some music and thinking about what’s going on in my head. I just finished the 4th season of Mind of Mencia. This year had to be the craziest season for me. I had put a lot of pressure on myself to make this season the best ever in every way possible. The show took so much out of me this year but for the first time I am 90% happy with the show. It could never be 100%. That is not in my nature. I ALWAYS feel like I could do better. That is what drives me to keep doing this after twenty something years of comedy, the cynics, the haters, the accusations of plagiarism etc. For the first time at the end of the season I’m not thinking about what I would do differently next season. That is a very good feeling, tough at this point I don’t know how much more I have to give as far as the show is concerned. I feel like I have said all I wanted to say and I don’t know how I would keep it fresh and that is very important to me. To me life is about growth and I feel a spurt coming on. I feel like I need to reach farther and higher. The stand up special I shot earlier this year that aired on Comedy Central was some of my best work and it has been nominated for a few awards already but still there’s always better. I am doing this tour, “At Close Range” this late summer and going through December which starts this weekend at Red Rocks in Denver. This is one of the most prestigious venues in the world and I get to start what I believe to be the most important tour of my life there. The reason I say that it is the most important is because I was told by many people in my camp that this is not a good year for a tour because of the economy and gas prices. I was told it would be better to do it another time when things got better. I’m sure they’re right about ticket sales being affected but I believe that at times like this, people need to laugh and escape their problems more than ever. What kind of human would I be to ignore what is my gift to the world, my responsibility to the world because of money. I can’t do that. It’s not in my nature. These words might sound bizarre to some of you because of my stage presence but know this, the reason I do what I do is because I truly believe that I am making the world a better place. I really love people. That’s why I am out in the front as soon as they open doors and I run back out there as soon as I get off stage every single show. I love meeting the fans, seeing their faces and how happy they are to meet me and get close enough to shake a hand or hug. It means a lot to me. I am in the process of picking my opening acts. I rarely have one person open shows for me. I want to give back to the comedy community by giving them opportunity to a few instead of just one. You know what I’m tired. We’ll continue this very soon.
Be well.

Carlos"

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Tags: Behind the Mind, Carlos Mencia, Carlos Mencia Message, Cristela Alonzo, Favorite Moments, Weblogs

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You wanna fix the economy America? Then have a garage sale...

Economists have been saying that we are in a recession. Are we? I don't know. What I do know is that the economy sucks, gas prices are high and we need to do something to fix it.. What do you do? Well, I, Cristela, went out on a fact-finding mission and found it in an old episode of the Golden Girls. It seems the "Golden Girls" were in hard times and wanted to buy a new TV, so the girls decided to have a garage sale. That's when I thought: OH MY GOD! That's exactly what we need to do. The United States needs to pin up signs across the neighborhood because it's time for "AMERICA'S GARAGE SALE!" Think about it....we have so many things we don't use!!!!

Like coming in at #1: THE LIBERTY BELL

Come on guys, let's face it. It's cracked. We haven't used it in years. I say we make a rule: Anything that's broken for over 200 years and we don't fix it? We toss it out...we don't need it. Let's tag that one and see how much money we can get for it...

#2: BRANSON, MO

Look, Branson, MO isn't doing anything for us. I mean, it's billed "The Family-Friendly Las Vegas". Um yeah, that's what I need...Vegas without the sin. What's next? Iraq with no war? Tag it up and we can haggle with this one too if needed.

#3: THE ALAMO

Pee Wee Herman showed it had no basement. Most importantly, people always say that we need to remember the Alamo. But who really does? Do you ever wake up in the morning and say, "Hmm, what do I have to do today? I have to go to the cleaners, pick up groceries...and oh yeah, REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" TAG IT AND MOVE ON!

#4: PARIS HILTON

She's been used by everyone in the US; we need to send her to another country where she can be used some more. I say this because I believe in recycling.

#5: THE FIRST AMENDMENT

Let's face it-we haven't used this puppy in a long time.

Actually, that one already sold. It was the first one to go. Warren Buffet bought it and said that he intends to break it down into smaller amendments. Congrats Warren, hope you're happy with it. But remember, everyone else...we have a ton of stuff that is still available so just look up the listings on Craigslist because AMERICA IS HAVING A GARAGE SALE!

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Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Daily "This Should Be" News, Taxes, Weblogs, You Got To Be Kidding Me

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New Behind the Scenes Footage: Mencia and his brother Joseph....

New stuff that happens between the segments at the taping. In this one Mencia talks about what it's like when relatives go and visit him, relatives like his father.

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Tags: Behind the Mind, Carlos Mencia, Favorite Moments, Weblogs

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Step It Up 3: Road to the White House...

So I'm not sure if you've heard but there's a presidential election going on. I was reading that one of the candidates (I think his name is Obama or something to that effect) visited Berlin and delivered a speech to an estimated crowd of over 200,000 people.

This is huge! What a big crowd. I can't imagine it being a bigger deal than what it is. I read an article where they compare his remarks to that of President Kennedy. At the same time this was happening, McCain was putting glitter on new posters he was taping around Washington D.C.

Dude, this is so crazy. I'd be pissed if I were McCain. "What the hell do I have to do to get noticed around here? UM, HELLO!?!??! PRISONER OF WAR HERE!?! REMEMBER ME?

It reminds me of two kids having a birthday party. Like McCain has a pinata thinking that is the highlight of the party..then Obama comes in and decides to have a party on the same day as McCain's....and OBAMA's PARENTS RENTED OUT THE FREAKIN' CHUCKY CHEESE!

Dude, if I were McCain, I'd be going on every show and promising people pony rides or something because honestly, I think this might be the year where we see REAL change...and by that I mean, ending the reign on the white man and opening to door to "The Obamination"!

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Tags: Black President, Cristela Alonzo, It's Always the Quiet Ones, Weblogs

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Mind of Mencia Season Finale Tonight!

Yet another season wraps up at the Mind of Mencia studio. It's been a fun year and now it's time for Mencia to pack up the costumes and put them in storage as he preps to go on tour.

His first stop is this weekend in Denver; he'll be playing Red Rocks, which is such an awesome venue. He'll be on the road for the rest of the year and I'm sure starting early 2009, he'll be back in the studio with Season 5.

I think that if I had to pick a favorite sketch this season, it would have to be the one about gay marriages that featured Cheech Marin. To be able to see him perform live was great. Let's face it, the man is a legend with us Latinos.

Mencia has covered so many different topics this season ranging from high gas prices to the election to terrorism to well, dressing up Joseph and Brad in different costumes.

Tonight, Mind of Mencia leaves with a bang! It includes one special sketch that Mencia was very proud of...I wish I could tell you what it is...but I guess you're going to have to see tonight's episode to see what I'm talking about.

Remember: Season Finale of Mind of Mencia Tonight! WATCH IT!

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Television, Weblogs

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New Mencia Minute: Mini-Me and She action...

This is a new Mencia minute where Mencia discusses the pro about Verne Troyer getting paid for his sex tape.
Before I embed this video, is it just me or does EVERYONE have a sex tape nowadays? I mean, really, who's next, Oprah Winfrey? I suspect that if she did have one out, she would make it into a positive thing by giving away all profits to a charity.

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Mencia Minute, Weblogs

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Behind the Scenes Footage: Mencia and stuffed animals...

Here is behind the scenes footage that features Mencia talking about how much fun it was to set fire to a lovable little furry animal.

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Can we stop with the medical/crime dramas?

I'm watching commercials for the new shows coming up and I just start thinking: HAVE WE NOT GOTTEN ENOUGH WITH COPS AND DOCS?

Every show is "OH MY GOD! He's dead!" "Oh my God! He's been murdered!"

I GET IT! Doctors have patients that can die...it's awful. I GET IT! Cops deal with murders and crimes...it's awful!

Jeez...where's the drama about a family that struggles to get by? Or the drama about an inner-city school?! HAS NO ONE SEEN LEAN ON ME, STAND AND DELIVER, DANGEROUS MINDS, ETC?!?!

I don't know. To me the state of TV is really sad. I loved TV when I was growing up. You had kick ass sitcoms, dramas like Dynasty, the Colbys, Dallas, Falcon's Crest, Thirtysomething, China Beach. REALITY TV didn't exist, thankfully. I am so sick and tired of the cliche scene where they're down to two competitors and ONE OF THEM IS GOING HOME! Send both of them home; I don't want to watch anymore.

I'm just afraid that one day ALL comedic TV will be gone from the air. Which is sad. Why are we so ready to forget about comedy? Why do we always have to kill someone and either investigate or try to save the incident? Can't we all just get together and bring back "MUST SEE TV" like back in the day?

TV networks need to lighten up....they need to make us laugh. By the way, don't forget to watch Mind of Mencia tomorrow, season finale!!!!

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Television, Weblogs

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Weekly Mencia Poll: The Dark Knight, love it or hate it?

I just saw the new Batman movie. I'm a total Batman geek. When I saw that the DA named Harvey Dent, I knew what to look forward to. Anyhoo. I was happy with the movie. I thought it did a great job with the darkness that you come across in the Batman novels.

But after reading that the Batman movie set new records at the box office for opening weekend, I was wondering: Did everyone like the movie? YAY or NAY?!?!

I'm part of the majority when I say that I thought Heath Ledger was AMAZING as the Joker..but am I REALLY in the majority or the minority...LET ME KNOW!

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, Weekly Poll

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Weekly Mencia Poll: The Dark Knight, love it or hate it?

I just saw the new Batman movie. I'm a total Batman geek. When I saw that the DA named Harvey Dent, I knew what to look forward to. Anyhoo. I was happy with the movie. I thought it did a great job with the darkness that you come across in the Batman novels.

But after reading that the Batman movie set new records at the box office for opening weekend, I was wondering: Did everyone like the movie? YAY or NAY?!?!

I'm part of the majority when I say that I thought Heath Ledger was AMAZING as the Joker..but am I REALLY in the majority or the minority...LET ME KNOW!

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Dee Dee Dee Award Presented To: Brooke Hogan

So I was watching VH1 and I didn't even know it. Have you ever done that? It's like you're watching something for hours and then it hits you, "What the hell did I do with my Sunday?"

I watched "Brooke Knows Best" this past weekend and the one thing I learned overall: The title is a lie. The premise of the show is that Brooke Hogan (as in Hulk Hogan's kin) has "moved out on her own" and gotten a bad-ass condo (which I'm still wondering why life isn't fair).

I still haven't gotten to the part where Brooke sends women back 20 years. Here it is actually. I actually found this in the news. When I first saw this, I wondered what Brooke had done to make headlines. That is when I clicked on the article and realized that the news story was a quote from "Brooke Knows Best."

In the quote, Brook says:

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time, I know I couldn't be able to run a country, 'cause I'd be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"

OMG!!!!! Dude, what the hell were you thiinking? If you can't speak about politics, then DON'T speak about politics. This quote just makes her sound so dumb.

Oh man, women with their PMS! What is she? A hacky female comedian? I had to give her this DDD Award a day earlier than what I usually do because I think, "Why wait to call someone a DDD?" So thank you Brooke Hogan, for making all the progress that women have made in the past decades seem like a really bad chick flick.

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Celebritiy Profile, Cristela Alonzo, Dee-Dee-Dee Awards, Weblogs

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The Dark Knight...is it awesome?

I haven't seen it yet. I would've gone to the midnight showing but I had to go to boot camp (to lose weight) and didn't want to stay up late.

I want to see this movie. I love Batman....I'm kinda scared of what it's going to be like though. I don't want to be disappointed. I'm afraid there's a lot of hype to it. I looked it up on rottentomatoes.com and it had a 94 percent rating which means it's A W E S O M E !

I'm sure I'll love it. I really dug Batman Begins. Hell, I've loved all of them....except Batman Forever and Batman and Robin....ugh. I wish we had control+alt+delete in real life....I would've restarted right after the release of those two movies.

Another thing is that I'm waiting because I'm afraid of the packed screenings. It seems like every time I go, there's always a bunch of loud people sitting right next to me. They never shut up and I end up annoyed throughout the whole thing.

Well, just wanted to see if anyone had seen the movie so that they could let me know what they thought of it. I'm curious.

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, The Mencia Summer Movie Guide, Weblogs

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Behind the Scenes Footage: Mencia and high gas prices...

This is a video where Mencia talks about high gas prices. He talks about how he spent 100 dollars on gas and when he got into his car, they tank wasn't full.

Here's my thing though. Mencia drives a Mercedes. So spending a 100 bucks on filling his Mercedes is not too bad. I personally don't feel too bad for him. You know what really sucks? When you spend a hundred dollars on gas and you drive a Ford Festiva. Do you know how bad that sucks? To have to pay high gas prices when you drive a CRAPPY CAR!?!?! SEE MENCIA?! THAT is what really sucks. Can you tell I drive a crappy car?

So here's Mencia's thoughts about high gas prices...enjoy!

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Tags: Behind the Mind, Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs

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New Mencia Minute: Mexicans can be racist too....what?

This is a brand new Mencia minute where he talks about a cartoon character from Mexico that is getting a lot of attention right now...and what this character says about some Mexicans out there....check it out!

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Mencia Minute, Weblogs

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Obama Drama with his Baby's Mama..

This story made me think: why do people care so much about the potential First Lady? Seems that Obama is very "infuriated" about the way that certain media outlets have spoken about Mrs. Obama.

I don't get why the First Lady is such a big deal. Do people think that she can just tell the President who to attack and he'll do it? Like they'll both be lying in bed at the White House and she whispers in his ear, "I hate China..can you get rid of them? Mexico's been getting on my nerves...bomb them for me please? It can be my birthday gift."

There are so many businessmen out there that head their own multi-BILLION dollar companies and there wives are of no concern. It's not about the wife, it's about the person running for office. So what if you don't like the wife? Big deal. Do you like where the candidate stands on foreign policy? the economy? In the end, I think that the wives only matter when it comes to their actual marriage. Is he happy with his wife? Do they get along with each other well?

I personally like Michelle Obama. I like the fist-bumps with her husband. I think it humanizes them and makes them seem like a "real" couple and a "real" couple is what we "really" need to "really" get us back to "reality". Or at least back to lower gas prices. Whatever comes first.

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Tags: Black President, Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, You Got To Be Kidding Me

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Great moment at a Mind of Mencia taping...

I wanted to share this really really cool moment I had at one the tapings when I was doing warm up.

I usually have some t-shirts and a dvd set that I give away at the tapings. And usually, I make people work for it. They tell jokes, they sing, some people dance. It's crazy...one of the best tapings we had was a couple of weeks ago. These two guys, Derrick and Adolf, ended up having a dance-off and it was so much fun. The audience went nuts for these two. It's always a good time.

This one time that I want to talk about features a guy from the audience named Agustin. He has come to a number of our tapings with his friend Mario. At the last taping, when I asked if anyone wanted to do something to get a chance to win the DVD, he raised his hand and said he'd sing for it. Everyone in the audience gets excited. So I ask him what he's going to sing and he tells me that he's singing the theme song to the Golden Girls...to me.

On my myspace page, I have a picture where I put my face on Sophia's body from the show, I LOVE THAT SHOW. "Auggie" said he had memorized the lines to the song in order to sing it to me. I was very touched by it. It's such a cool thing for ANYONE to go to that kind of effort, especially for me.

I'm including a pic of that moment that my friend Randy Shropshire took at the taping. When I saw this pic, I knew I had to talk about it because it's really special to me. It shows how at these tapings, I try to not only entertain the audiences. Really, if you come to a number of tapings, we start getting to know each other pretty well. There are people that I really feel become friends. And not only at the tapings but at live shows...when I open up for Mencia. There are people that I keep in touch with after "meeting" them through myspace.

Anyhoo, his song was awesome and in the end...he won the DVD. And not because I gave it to him, the audience voted and picked him as the best of the night. Which is awesome. So to Auggie I must say, "THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!"

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Favorite Moments, Weblogs

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A porn star...with a dream...

So yesterday I did two sets. The first one was at the Melrose IMPROV (aka Hollywood IMPROV) as part of the "IMPROV's Finest Tour" where they bus kids into the club and have comics perform their regular sets for them (and my sex jokes went great with the 12 year olds....apparently some of them haven't gotten any either-SO KIDDING).

After that show, I headed over to the HAHA Comedy Club in North Hollywood to do their "Tuesday Funnies" hosted by Eric Alegria. There I said hi to the other comedians, including Chris D'Elia (who is very funny, check him out). After I went up, Eric brought up a comedian named Kyle Stone. The name immediately sounded familiar to me. Then he started his set and talked about how he has worked in the porn industry for 15 years. That's when I realized, "BOY, AM I FAMILIAR WITH YOU!?"

So I watched his set and after the show he came up to me to compliment my set...(of jokes, not boobs). We started talking and I asked him why he started doing stand up (he had been doing it for 3 weeks). He said that he had ALWAYS wanted to do it and the death of George Carlin lit a fire under him, which I think is commendable. I mean, the biggest and hardest step in stand-up, is to actually START doing it. Of course, he needs no courage since he's been getting naked and having sex for people around the world to see (AND THEY DO).

I was happy to have met him last night. He was a nice guy that was exciting about starting something new. I have to admit, I will probably never see a porn with him again because now I've actually met him and had a cool conversation with him. Oh well, I'm sure there are TONS of other porn stars I can choose from....(as if I don't already have someone in mind)...

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, It's Always the Quiet Ones, This Shit Really Happens, Weblogs

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I stood for 7 hours in line to get a new phone....

That's right. I'll admit it; I stood in line for 7 hours to get the new iPhone yesterday. The worst part is that I wasn't planning on getting the phone.

Like I wrote yesterday, my old phone is gone. I left my apartment yesterday and got to the mall a little after 1 p.m., thinking that since it was a weekday, the line wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong. I got in line and waited.

TWO HOURS LATER, I moved about halfway through the line. I started thinking, "Hey, I"ll be gone in no time." Wrong. People started cutting in line...nothing was done about it. Then it seemed that the line was stuck. There was a kid in front of me that was waiting in line to get his iPhone. I saved his spot in line and he went to "investigate" the reason for the long wait. That's when we discovered that people were going in and taking their time looking at other products. This made me very annoyed.

It was probably because I just needed A phone. Not a specific kind of phone. I wasn't excited about the new phone. I just needed to replace my old one that was being used by a schmuck.

The thing was...I had already invested two hours in this line...it seemed stupid to leave it and I really NEEDED a phone.

CUT TO 5 HOURS LATER....my feet hurt and I'm next in line. I couldn't even sit down at the mall because it was against mall policies (security guards had gotten after several people that attempted to sit down). I FINALLY went in to get my phone activated. A half hour later...I was done and walked out with my white 16 GB in hand.

The thing is, after all that waiting, I'm not too excited about the phone which sucks because really, after waiting in line for 7 hours, I should be pooping out sunshine with excitement. But I'm not because my legs still hurt from standing in line and NOT being able to sit down on the mall floor.

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Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Web/Tech, Weblogs

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Dee Dee Dee Award Presented To: Homophobic DMV

If you're gay, you might not drive well. That's right, I said it. What are you going to do about it?

I hope nothing, because that opinion I stated wasn't mine, but rather the transport ministry that I read about regarding a man that was required to take his driving test over again "because he was a homosexual." What!!?
That is absolutely nuts!

Apparently, "26 year-old Danilo Giuffrida told doctors he was gay at his medical examination for military service, they passed the information to the transport ministry, who told him he must repeat his driving test or have his license withdrawn due to his sexual identity disturbance."

I think the transport department is at fault for being absolutely stupid. What did they think? That a homosexual couldn't drive because he'd be grabbing at the stick shift a little too long? How on earth an they feel comfortable asking him to do that? And how is the driving test for homosexuals different from the
heterosexual ones?

"Yes, we need you to signal a left turn...so wave your feather boa in the air to let everyone know!"

And I know the feather boa thing is a bit much, but I say it to prove a point...and that point is stupidity.

So, to the transport ministry of Italy, I say that they need to wake up and not be such bigots. This makes them the ultimate "Dee Dee Dee Award" of the week.

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Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Dee-Dee-Dee Awards, Weblogs

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Weekly Mencia Poll: Have a nice gay....

I have a lot of gay friends. I love them. It's weird though because to me, they're "gay" but I never really think of them like that. It's like my heterosexual friends...I don't usually refer to them as my "hetero" friends, so why would I do that with my gay friends? They are my friends first and foremost.

I have been a big supporter of gay marriage right from the get go. I think that it's important for EVERYONE to be allowed to marry just for the fact that I think it's absolutely RIDICULOUS that not everyone can. Who's the monitor that? Of course though, with someone like me who is absolutely PRO it, you'll also have people that are AGAINST it. So I want to know: which person are you?

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, Weekly Poll

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