The Dark Knight...is it awesome?

I haven't seen it yet. I would've gone to the midnight showing but I had to go to boot camp (to lose weight) and didn't want to stay up late.

I want to see this movie. I love Batman....I'm kinda scared of what it's going to be like though. I don't want to be disappointed. I'm afraid there's a lot of hype to it. I looked it up on rottentomatoes.com and it had a 94 percent rating which means it's A W E S O M E !

I'm sure I'll love it. I really dug Batman Begins. Hell, I've loved all of them....except Batman Forever and Batman and Robin....ugh. I wish we had control+alt+delete in real life....I would've restarted right after the release of those two movies.

Another thing is that I'm waiting because I'm afraid of the packed screenings. It seems like every time I go, there's always a bunch of loud people sitting right next to me. They never shut up and I end up annoyed throughout the whole thing.

Well, just wanted to see if anyone had seen the movie so that they could let me know what they thought of it. I'm curious.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, The Mencia Summer Movie Guide, Weblogs

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Behind the Scenes Footage: Mencia and high gas prices...

This is a video where Mencia talks about high gas prices. He talks about how he spent 100 dollars on gas and when he got into his car, they tank wasn't full.

Here's my thing though. Mencia drives a Mercedes. So spending a 100 bucks on filling his Mercedes is not too bad. I personally don't feel too bad for him. You know what really sucks? When you spend a hundred dollars on gas and you drive a Ford Festiva. Do you know how bad that sucks? To have to pay high gas prices when you drive a CRAPPY CAR!?!?! SEE MENCIA?! THAT is what really sucks. Can you tell I drive a crappy car?

So here's Mencia's thoughts about high gas prices...enjoy!

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Tags: Behind the Mind, Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs

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New Mencia Minute: Mexicans can be racist too....what?

This is a brand new Mencia minute where he talks about a cartoon character from Mexico that is getting a lot of attention right now...and what this character says about some Mexicans out there....check it out!

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Mencia Minute, Weblogs

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Obama Drama with his Baby's Mama..

This story made me think: why do people care so much about the potential First Lady? Seems that Obama is very "infuriated" about the way that certain media outlets have spoken about Mrs. Obama.

I don't get why the First Lady is such a big deal. Do people think that she can just tell the President who to attack and he'll do it? Like they'll both be lying in bed at the White House and she whispers in his ear, "I hate China..can you get rid of them? Mexico's been getting on my nerves...bomb them for me please? It can be my birthday gift."

There are so many businessmen out there that head their own multi-BILLION dollar companies and there wives are of no concern. It's not about the wife, it's about the person running for office. So what if you don't like the wife? Big deal. Do you like where the candidate stands on foreign policy? the economy? In the end, I think that the wives only matter when it comes to their actual marriage. Is he happy with his wife? Do they get along with each other well?

I personally like Michelle Obama. I like the fist-bumps with her husband. I think it humanizes them and makes them seem like a "real" couple and a "real" couple is what we "really" need to "really" get us back to "reality". Or at least back to lower gas prices. Whatever comes first.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Black President, Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, You Got To Be Kidding Me

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Great moment at a Mind of Mencia taping...

I wanted to share this really really cool moment I had at one the tapings when I was doing warm up.

I usually have some t-shirts and a dvd set that I give away at the tapings. And usually, I make people work for it. They tell jokes, they sing, some people dance. It's crazy...one of the best tapings we had was a couple of weeks ago. These two guys, Derrick and Adolf, ended up having a dance-off and it was so much fun. The audience went nuts for these two. It's always a good time.

This one time that I want to talk about features a guy from the audience named Agustin. He has come to a number of our tapings with his friend Mario. At the last taping, when I asked if anyone wanted to do something to get a chance to win the DVD, he raised his hand and said he'd sing for it. Everyone in the audience gets excited. So I ask him what he's going to sing and he tells me that he's singing the theme song to the Golden Girls...to me.

On my myspace page, I have a picture where I put my face on Sophia's body from the show, I LOVE THAT SHOW. "Auggie" said he had memorized the lines to the song in order to sing it to me. I was very touched by it. It's such a cool thing for ANYONE to go to that kind of effort, especially for me.

I'm including a pic of that moment that my friend Randy Shropshire took at the taping. When I saw this pic, I knew I had to talk about it because it's really special to me. It shows how at these tapings, I try to not only entertain the audiences. Really, if you come to a number of tapings, we start getting to know each other pretty well. There are people that I really feel become friends. And not only at the tapings but at live shows...when I open up for Mencia. There are people that I keep in touch with after "meeting" them through myspace.

Anyhoo, his song was awesome and in the end...he won the DVD. And not because I gave it to him, the audience voted and picked him as the best of the night. Which is awesome. So to Auggie I must say, "THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND!"

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Favorite Moments, Weblogs

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A porn star...with a dream...

So yesterday I did two sets. The first one was at the Melrose IMPROV (aka Hollywood IMPROV) as part of the "IMPROV's Finest Tour" where they bus kids into the club and have comics perform their regular sets for them (and my sex jokes went great with the 12 year olds....apparently some of them haven't gotten any either-SO KIDDING).

After that show, I headed over to the HAHA Comedy Club in North Hollywood to do their "Tuesday Funnies" hosted by Eric Alegria. There I said hi to the other comedians, including Chris D'Elia (who is very funny, check him out). After I went up, Eric brought up a comedian named Kyle Stone. The name immediately sounded familiar to me. Then he started his set and talked about how he has worked in the porn industry for 15 years. That's when I realized, "BOY, AM I FAMILIAR WITH YOU!?"

So I watched his set and after the show he came up to me to compliment my set...(of jokes, not boobs). We started talking and I asked him why he started doing stand up (he had been doing it for 3 weeks). He said that he had ALWAYS wanted to do it and the death of George Carlin lit a fire under him, which I think is commendable. I mean, the biggest and hardest step in stand-up, is to actually START doing it. Of course, he needs no courage since he's been getting naked and having sex for people around the world to see (AND THEY DO).

I was happy to have met him last night. He was a nice guy that was exciting about starting something new. I have to admit, I will probably never see a porn with him again because now I've actually met him and had a cool conversation with him. Oh well, I'm sure there are TONS of other porn stars I can choose from....(as if I don't already have someone in mind)...

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, It's Always the Quiet Ones, This Shit Really Happens, Weblogs

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I stood for 7 hours in line to get a new phone....

That's right. I'll admit it; I stood in line for 7 hours to get the new iPhone yesterday. The worst part is that I wasn't planning on getting the phone.

Like I wrote yesterday, my old phone is gone. I left my apartment yesterday and got to the mall a little after 1 p.m., thinking that since it was a weekday, the line wouldn't be so bad. I was wrong. I got in line and waited.

TWO HOURS LATER, I moved about halfway through the line. I started thinking, "Hey, I"ll be gone in no time." Wrong. People started cutting in line...nothing was done about it. Then it seemed that the line was stuck. There was a kid in front of me that was waiting in line to get his iPhone. I saved his spot in line and he went to "investigate" the reason for the long wait. That's when we discovered that people were going in and taking their time looking at other products. This made me very annoyed.

It was probably because I just needed A phone. Not a specific kind of phone. I wasn't excited about the new phone. I just needed to replace my old one that was being used by a schmuck.

The thing was...I had already invested two hours in this line...it seemed stupid to leave it and I really NEEDED a phone.

CUT TO 5 HOURS LATER....my feet hurt and I'm next in line. I couldn't even sit down at the mall because it was against mall policies (security guards had gotten after several people that attempted to sit down). I FINALLY went in to get my phone activated. A half hour later...I was done and walked out with my white 16 GB in hand.

The thing is, after all that waiting, I'm not too excited about the phone which sucks because really, after waiting in line for 7 hours, I should be pooping out sunshine with excitement. But I'm not because my legs still hurt from standing in line and NOT being able to sit down on the mall floor.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Web/Tech, Weblogs

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Dee Dee Dee Award Presented To: Homophobic DMV

If you're gay, you might not drive well. That's right, I said it. What are you going to do about it?

I hope nothing, because that opinion I stated wasn't mine, but rather the transport ministry that I read about regarding a man that was required to take his driving test over again "because he was a homosexual." What!!?
That is absolutely nuts!

Apparently, "26 year-old Danilo Giuffrida told doctors he was gay at his medical examination for military service, they passed the information to the transport ministry, who told him he must repeat his driving test or have his license withdrawn due to his sexual identity disturbance."

I think the transport department is at fault for being absolutely stupid. What did they think? That a homosexual couldn't drive because he'd be grabbing at the stick shift a little too long? How on earth an they feel comfortable asking him to do that? And how is the driving test for homosexuals different from the
heterosexual ones?

"Yes, we need you to signal a left turn...so wave your feather boa in the air to let everyone know!"

And I know the feather boa thing is a bit much, but I say it to prove a point...and that point is stupidity.

So, to the transport ministry of Italy, I say that they need to wake up and not be such bigots. This makes them the ultimate "Dee Dee Dee Award" of the week.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Dee-Dee-Dee Awards, Weblogs

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Weekly Mencia Poll: Have a nice gay....

I have a lot of gay friends. I love them. It's weird though because to me, they're "gay" but I never really think of them like that. It's like my heterosexual friends...I don't usually refer to them as my "hetero" friends, so why would I do that with my gay friends? They are my friends first and foremost.

I have been a big supporter of gay marriage right from the get go. I think that it's important for EVERYONE to be allowed to marry just for the fact that I think it's absolutely RIDICULOUS that not everyone can. Who's the monitor that? Of course though, with someone like me who is absolutely PRO it, you'll also have people that are AGAINST it. So I want to know: which person are you?

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Carlos Mencia, Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, Weekly Poll

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A letter to the guy who stole my iPhone...

You suck. Plain and simple.

And I know that people might think that I'm being sexist..."How do you know it's a guy?" Because there were only men around when it was taken. Now back to my letter:

Dear A-hole,

You "found" my phone and decided to keep it. You're a jerk.

I'm not bothered by the fact that my phone is gone; it's a material thing, they can always be replaced. What I'm mad about is the fact that you have a part of me with you and it's creepy. Plain and simple.

I have pictures, phone number and emails from friends and family. Now you're treating my phone like a f@#$-ing toy. I logged into my email yesterday only to find that YOU had erased all my emails tracing back to June 25th. Fortunately, they were still in the trash and could be recovered.

When you do some a-holish like you just did, you don't think. I had to change my password on a lot of stuff. I cancelled the F@#$-ing thing, it's not like you can set it up yourself. I reported it stolen. I guess you have a new ipod. Big whoop. Till you buy a cable to hook it up and clear it, I hope you enjoy listening to Boston and The Shins. Dick.

-Cristela

I feel so disgusted with this person. Who does that? Why are people so dishonest nowadays? My boyfriend found an ipod on the sidewalk near the apartment and decided to put up a sign telling people he had found it because he felt bad for that person. "That sucks; they probably think this is gone forever." Within a day, he got a call from the girl that had dropped it. He gave it back to her and she was sooo thankful. It made me realize what a good guy he is. I mean, it seems that nowadays, no one is willing to do that. But really, that's what life is all about. I believe in karma...and that my friends, is something you cannot steal.

P.S. I tried getting a new phone yesterday and waited in line for hours...and ended up NOT getting a phone because the line was sooo long. And the manager that the Apple store at the Sherman Oaks mall was a b i t c h.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Web/Tech, Weblogs, You Got To Be Kidding Me

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Behind the Scenes Footage: Mencia and the magical barbecue...

This is between segments at a taping where Mencia discusses the typical Latino barbecue. I come from Texas and we really don't call them BBQ's there....we call them "cookouts"...but anyway, this is the new "Between the Breaks" segment and I wanted to share it with you all.

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Tags: Behind the Mind, Carlos Mencia, Weblogs

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A drunk firefighter is not a good firefighter...

I have to start this by saying that I like to drink. People that know me, know that I like beer. It's either a Corona (someone call the steretype cops), Heineken or a Black and Tan (Guiness and Bass-not to be confused with a Black and White which is Guiness and Harp). I have been drunk many, many times. Oh and I have to say that this is Cristela, not Mencia. For those of you that don't know, Mencia doesn't drink.

Back to my drunk stuff. I have done stupid things when I'm drunk. I won't go into details because I want t0 keep this PG-13, but I have a question: Why is it that you don't get drunk and do smart things? You always hear people say..."Dude, I can't believe I hit your car..." They never say, "Dude, I can't believe I did your taxes..."

This brings me to a story I found about a firefighters that arrived at a blaze and quickly realized that ONE of their "firefighters" was an imposter. The guy was drunk!

Seems that the fire alarm went off and the drunk man rushed to the fire station and in the frenzy, was helped my firefighters into the gear and got on the fire engine.

It wasn't till they got to the fire that they realized, "WHOOPS! Who the hell is this guy?" and ended up reporting him to the cops.

Which brings me back to what I started talking about. Look at this guy, he got drunk and wanted to fight fires. That's kind of a weird yet maybe noble thing to want to do...and stupid I forgot to mention. This guy needs friends around him when he gets drunk to stop him from putting his life in danger. What's next? Getting drunk and try to perform surgery? I have a message for this guy: Dude, getting drunk is ok...but please...just do what we do...get drunk, go to a Denny's and order a Moon Over My Hammy.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, This Shit Really Happens, Weblogs

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The brothel with a heart...who knew?

I get it, gas prices are high. I get it. I own a car and surprisingly enough, it runs on gas. I have to occasionally put this "so-called" gas into the car. Gas prices are flirting with the five dollar mark and something must be done about it...and I'm happy to report that a brothel in Nevada is doing its part to help with these "hard" times (pun intended).

So, the "Shady Lady" Ranch is offering a $50 dollar gas voucher for spending $300 dollars on their "services" (which I'm sure include housekeeping and dog-walking). The owner of the brothel says that he gave away $1,000 dollars in gas vouchers within the first week of this promo.

I say, hey, if you're going to spend money on a "job", then you might as well get something out of it. I think of it as a sex rebate. What a great idea! I mean, I can't, nor would I, judge them for having a brothel because brothels are legal in parts of Nevada. It's a business and if you have to give an incentive for coming out to attain services, then so be it. Right? Or am I alone on this one?

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, The Should've Been News, This Shit Really Happens, Weblogs

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A man sits down in over 39,000 seats and still going...needs life.

I was looking at Yahoo and I mean the website, not the expressively happy term "YAHOO!" and found a story about a man that has a lot of time on his hands.

First of all, let me say that I, Cristela, work from home. You would think that means that I would have this abundance of time to hang out and do things but that's not the case at all. I feel like I never have enough time to do everything I want/need to do. I'm sure a lot of people are like that. You wake up and say, "Today, I'm doing laundry, getting an oil change and working out." You end up getting an oil change and the other chores are kinda forgotten about. Why? Because getting an oil change took longer than expected. You wanted to be back home in about an hour but when you got to the place, you saw a long line of cars. You have to wait a while before they get to yours. Then you have to wait for the oil change to happen. Then you get stuck in traffic. Pretty soon, your hour chore took about three hours to do. Sound familiar? Yup, we've all been there.

Having said that, I find this story interesting. So there's a guy named Jim Purol who on Monday, began sitting down at the Rose Bowl. No, there is no game going on. He was attempting to set a Guiness World Record for "Most Seat Sat in 48 Hours" by sitting in 39,250 seats. He has accomplished this and plans to sit in all of the stadium's 92,542 seats. He has set other world records and has actually sat in ever chair at the University of Michigan's stadium-that's right, all 107,501 of them.

Here's my thing: How does this guy have so much free time to do this? Actually, scratch that. How does this guy have so much free time to do this? How does someone THINK of doing this...period?

When I was a little kid, I used to buy the Guiness books all the time...but I grew out of them at the age of 10 (probably because I discovered Encyclopedia Brown then). I don't understand how anyone could come up with this idea and actually FOLLOW through with it.

Ugh, who knows...maybe I'm just jealous because good ol' Jim Purol has the time to attempt this world record feat while I'm somewhere in LA, stuck in traffic...hoping that I can get to the day where I can do ALL of my laundry.

Posted by mind of mencia blog
Tags: Cristela Alonzo, Weblogs, You Got To Be Kidding Me

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New Mencia Minute: "Spitting out" the watermelon...

This is the latest in the Mencia minute segment of the show...and as we all know, this is behind-the-scenes so you can't see the Mencia minutes unless you check out the website.

In this one, Mencia talks about a secret about watermelon that a lot of people might not be aware of. Who says you can't learn something new everyday?

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Tags: Carlos Mencia, Mencia Minute, Weblogs

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OMG! Abu Dhabi fund buys famous building....what's next?

I was reading the virtual newspaper today and found