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This is your chance to vote for your favorite line from the show. Every Tuesday we will post the best lines from the previous episode for you to vote on. The quote with the most votes will be considered the quote of the week. At the end of the season we will vote on all the winning quotes to determine the "Mind of Mencia, Season 3: Quote of the Year!"
So now that we've all seen the season premiere, it's time to vote on your
favorite quote from the first show.
ENTRY #1
"Gerbils are not dangerous animals. You've never heard of anybody dying of a gerbil attack.
You've heard other stories about gerbils...but in these stories the gerbils are the one in danger!"
- Carlos Mencia -
ENTRY #2
"I need ass! I want ass! Your ass is piston!"
- Coach Carlos -
ENTRY #3
"Beaners are little people. You're midgets!"
- Coach Carlos -
ENTRY #4
"We're not midgets. We're hobbits! And if we can pull a pick-up truck with
our ass cheeks, we can do anything!!!"
- Coach Carlos -
ENTRY #5
"It wasn't me. Your hearts and ass won this game, boys."
- Coach Carlos -
Comments
WTF im 13 and i under stand everything u say. the dumbasses who dont get it just cant underderderstand the obvois. my name is david aaron brown i want to be a man who tells the truth like if someone said " i like George W. Bush" id say "well since hes a BUSH he sorry i mean she can lick my big hary 13 year old balls AND I WONT CALL HIM EVER" i respect u carlos if u read this please put it on air JUNE 19 2007 please do me a favor (i forgot to tell u im kinda mildly retarted)
Posted by:David Aaron Brown | Apr 3, 2007 6:26:55 PM
Well, Bubba Mencia, it was not a manta ray that killed the Croc Hunter, it was a stingray at 5 plus foot in diameter. Shows even you can make a mistake. I mean your only human,subject to f--king up at any moment. You take care, stay healthy, and I love your show
Posted by:Tommy Peacock | Apr 3, 2007 7:22:20 PM
Whats up, Carlos? Carlos you are the man!!!! You bring me and my mom together.
Posted by:Gustabo Garcia | Apr 3, 2007 7:29:36 PM
Wow, people are really rough in these comments. Hope you have a tough skin there, dude. Saw you in Milwaukee last year. What a blast; thanks for the great show. I love it when you make Joseph do crazy stuff and Brad is too funny! I think the three of you should do something together - make it a field trip where you a Brad make Joseph do something like climbing up the Gold Gate Bridge!!!
Posted by:Karen | Apr 3, 2007 7:55:30 PM
Dude, going along with what you said about the white people getting eaten by animals, I totally agree. And i'm white! There is also an actual video of a man playing with a MORAY EEL?!?!?! He's feeding it and BAM, it bites his thumb, the camera falls to the ground, and you hear a lod POP. Thats the POP of his thumb as it POPs off. He later replaces his thumb with his left index toe, and (LOLOLOLOL) it shows him playing PS2 with it!?!?!? Here's the link...
http://www.uniquepeek.com/viewpage.php?page_id=646
LOL the music sucks and you have to wait a while to see it but it hilarious
Sheridan Halfacre, Orlando FL
P.S. You should put the video on air LOL
PEACE
Posted by:Sheridan Halfacre | Apr 3, 2007 8:29:50 PM
yo carlos im 14 i think your show is so kick ass i also think you bit on the croc hunter was funny
Posted by:thomas galapin | Apr 3, 2007 9:20:43 PM
I think one of the better quotes is
"you're so HOT! I'd fuck you in front of my wife"
Posted by:Kegluneq | Apr 3, 2007 10:32:50 PM
CARLOS U R THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE FUCKING EARTH EAVERY TIME I WATCH YOUR SHOW I HAVE TO TAKE MY INHALER CAUSE I LAUGH SO HARD.ONE TIME I HAD AN ASMA ATTACK CAUSE I FERGOT MY INHALER IN MY ROOM.DID I MENTCHEN YOUR THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THE FACE ON THE FUCKING EARTH.ONE TIME MY BROTHER SAID YOUR NOT FUNNY SO I DECKED HIM IN THE FACE.I THINK YOUR FUNNIEST JOKES R ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE N IM WHITE.STAY FUNNY
Posted by:MICHAEL ANDREW SILVA | Apr 3, 2007 11:09:40 PM
u r de funnist guy on the planet and your Mind of a de de de was funny and your Brittney Spers craks r hilarious
Posted by:Jeremy | Apr 4, 2007 11:51:26 AM
Beaners are little people.IT'S SO TRUE!I love your shoowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.The beaners at my school are allways saying "...Got any crack? (Joking?)"I AM BEANER,WATCH ME JUMP THE BORDER!
Posted by:Jonathan Velasquez | Apr 4, 2007 12:49:10 PM
OMG you are the funniest guy on the earth!!! The thing about the white people getting atacked is absolutely true!!! We are such retards!! One example is my 15 year old brother, he peed on a wall outside the pizza place a block away from home and got caught by the police!!! What a RETARD!!!
You are sooo funny!!! Stay that way!!!
PS: please DO NOT read this on the show he would sooooo embrassed!!!
Posted by:Caitlyn | Apr 4, 2007 1:02:44 PM
hey carlos yo soy un beaner, a fuck it what I want to say is I love your show and the best thing is you keep on pissing off Britney Spears Micheal Jackson... but the only thing that makes me feel a Dee Dee Dee is that my mom calls Britney a pobresita, she's a wetback too. What should I do if I don't want to get my ass whipped, again. Your biggest beaner Jose Moreno.
P.S. don't stop making fun of those Dee Dee Dee's and two more things I want you to do, make Brad taller and can you get Joseph to speak more english.
To my beaner frriend Carlos Meencia
Posted by:jose Moreno | Apr 4, 2007 2:19:00 PM
Jesus, nobody here knows how to type.
I love your show, and I shall watch it every night even if it will give me major headaches in the morning. (:
Posted by:Ash | Apr 4, 2007 4:20:33 PM
I think #1 is the funniest. Its better when you say stuff to the camera and not on a clip. Either way your really funny. When I found out that my Uncle watches you I got him Season 1 for Chanukah then he told me that a guy he works with said he likes you too so they brought it into a small theater and he and 50 office workers watched it while eating lunch. You are hilarious. Keep it up.
Posted by:Eric | Apr 4, 2007 4:32:08 PM
hey mencia, you do make a hot chick but you've got to show more leg and nalga. keep up the bad work
Posted by:spanky | Apr 4, 2007 5:04:35 PM
Hey Carlos, since you like to post about how people die (croc hunter) how about airing some jokes about the dumbass illegals who come accross the desert in the heat & die or get packed like human sardines in truck & kick it. That I would like to see... Do you have the balls?
Posted by:Lon Angle | Apr 4, 2007 5:34:01 PM
Dude I am 14 and your show is effing hilarious! It seriously kicks ass! THe gerbil thing is so true and about how only white people get eaten...you don't hear some Mexican going around yelling, "I got attacked by a fucking bear!" Keep going with the kick ass show Carlos!!
Posted by:Taylor Jones | Apr 4, 2007 7:32:28 PM
Ned i love your joke about building a boarder between the us and mexico and then having us guess who it would be
Posted by:joe rogan's friend | Apr 4, 2007 9:31:53 PM
Carlos your show is one of my favorites,and i think your sketches on the show are hilarious.You are one of the best comedians at telling like it is,and many other comedians dont have the balls to say the same things you say.Thanks for making me laugh and keep doing what you do.
Posted by:Jake Soares | Apr 4, 2007 9:44:41 PM
carlos i am a beaner. my whole family like to do wise cracks. i'm a ghettho person. i say the truth straight up.YOU ARE THE MOST FUNNIST PERSON EVER AND THE WHOLE PLANETA.
my duhmass of a brother says i shoulden't watch those shows because he says your a motherfucking retard that needs to be canceld and that he was going to piss on you. i start crackin on him and so does my other three brothers and five sisters. telling him it takes one to know one. but anyways i hate that chappelle motherfucker. he can lick my pussy. and my ass because he doesn't compare to you in amyway. he's a RETARD.
Posted by:griseille | Apr 5, 2007 7:40:32 AM
I gotta go with quote #2, but I do second whoever said that "Your mom is so hot, I'd do her in front of my wife" should be up there :)
Posted by:Allyson | Apr 5, 2007 2:25:00 PM
go suck your balls daniel
go suck your balls..
go suck your balls daniel
go suck your balls..
go suck your balls daniel
Posted by:griseille | Apr 5, 2007 2:39:15 PM
I think that entry #1 was the best
and by the way,
Carlos I loved your bit on the croc hunter,
when I first heard he died I was a little bumbed out for about five minutes, but then I got pissed because I had a $20 bet he would be killed by a croc! lol
Posted by:Steven Levanduski | Apr 5, 2007 5:06:19 PM
Hey Carlos. You really do understand everything and am brave enough to say it on public television. The thing I truly hate the most is that pendejo George Bush, if you don't believe me think of it like this I live in a town called BUSHKILL. Hey you should mention on your show that when Bush dies the US and Iraq are going to make it a national holiday. Adios!
Posted by:Evan Johnson | Apr 5, 2007 8:19:40 PM
I pick Quote #1. Definetly. Me and my friends laughed for hours on that one!
Posted by:Val K. | Apr 6, 2007 7:59:44 AM
well, ill definitely have to go with
#4 & carlos, your the funniest f--king
beaner on the face of the earth.
ps-im not saying that just 2 be an
ass-kissing dee dee dee. stay funny.
-tori
Posted by:tori | Apr 8, 2007 7:36:12 PM
carlos don't listen to those assholes that don't like you i think you are the funniest beaner ever. my family to is nothing but a bunch of beaners. i love it when you do the deedee awards they crack me up.
Posted by:michelle | Apr 8, 2007 7:50:21 PM
Your show is hilarious! The best quote is "It wasn't me. Your hearts and ass won this game, boys." Keep up the good work.
Posted by:Zach | Apr 9, 2007 11:20:15 AM
"u r de funnist guy on the planet and your Mind of a de de de was funny and your Brittney Spers craks r hilarious"
Once again, the average Mencia fan speaks.
Posted by:Josh | Apr 10, 2007 9:54:30 AM
carlos i just watched your show, recorded on dvr box. you should give yourself a dee dee dee award for not having your facts right about the croc hunter getting killed by a manta ray, it was a stingray. manta rays do not even have a stinging spine at the base of the tail. man up and dee dee dee yourself.
Posted by:don | Apr 10, 2007 3:00:07 PM
Hey Dee Dee Dee, with that Croc Hunter joke, you were talking about the wrong guy! You might want to check up on Jeff Corwin, the man's a complete idiot.
Posted by:Merche | Apr 13, 2007 11:33:12 AM
HEY, MENCIA, YOU SUCK. PERIOD.
Posted by:g | Apr 15, 2007 2:22:28 PM
Carlos you are so right, If you're not laughin' you're not livin'. What's up with some of these people being hateful and negative? Well, I just want to say-BITCH,POWER ON,POWER OFF.CHANNEL UP,CHANNEL DOWN. I thought #4 was the funniest. So now let me ask you a question. I see you are appearing at the Colusa Casino Resort in August. Can you get your people to comp me 4 tickets? Come on Carlos, I'm turning 50 in August and I can't think of a better way to celebrate becoming a senior citizen than CASINO,COMEDY,CARLOS,COMPLIMENTARY!!! Just think what a story that would be to tell the grandchildren,only the clean version,oh what the hell if they're my grandchildren....Please mijo-Get back with me on that.
Posted by:Jeanne | Apr 18, 2007 1:52:07 AM
carlos whats up your a funny ass wetback i can give to shits and to stones what people thank about you your about realty and i see some people well thats another thing i will coment on later race you know what i thank points yea soeme people think you see a black man in your hood close your door and shit i was walking on my block i said hi to a white guy and when i walked pass his car turns his alarm on any way words of a carlos fan you heard
Posted by:anthony | Apr 18, 2007 9:21:17 PM
carlos whats up your a funny ass wetback i can give to shits and to stones what people thank about you your about realty and i see some people well thats another thing i will coment on later race you know what i thank points yea soeme people think you see a black man in your hood close your door and shit i was walking on my block i said hi to a white guy and when i walked pass his car turns his alarm on any way words of a carlos fan you heard
Posted by:anthony | Apr 18, 2007 9:24:19 PM
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This is your chance to vote for your favorite line from the show. Every Tuesday we will post the best lines from the previous episode for you to vote on. The quote with the most votes will be considered the quote of the week. At the end of the season we will vote on all the winning quotes to determine the "Mind of Mencia, Season 3: Quote of the Year!" 
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