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| Mencia Summer Movie Guide - Live Free and Die Hard "
As I'm sure you're all aware by now, Evan Almighty opens nationwide this weekend, and I'm sure many of you are going to rush to the theaters to see it. Look, I haven't seen the movie so I'm not going to tell you whether it's good or bad, but I do have a problem with the story.
Apparently it's a recreation of the Noah's Ark story set in modern day. And if you don't know the Noah's Ark story - stop surfing YouTube and open a freaking book! But seriously, I know it's a fictional movie, and they have creative license, but this film went too far! If God needed to build something out of wood quickly, he wouldn't ask some unskilled middle-class white dude? That's bullshit! He'd ask my people. The beaners! That's what we do. We build shit quick.
Now I can understand God asking some white Jewish guy to build an ark back in the day...Good Mexican day-laborers were harder to find. But today? God could appear in a burning shrub in front of any freaking Home Depot in the country and find his work force.
Give them some wood, and few tools and before you knew it...BAM! (MEXICAN VOICE) "There is your ark, Senor God. When's the flood gonna happen?" God would be like, "Soon. I didn't expect it to be built that quick. I'm still making clouds."
That's my take before I see the movie.
Comments
and the beaners used their moweing lawns to chase the animals in to the ark after
Posted by:Joshua Paz | Jun 23, 2007 12:28:51 AM
no cabron ya no mas pinche cabras i ya no mas pinche cabillos!! solo dos de cada animal pendejos como dejo dios!!yeha yeha andale andale!!! pinches animales!!tenemos un problema que i three puercose...pues mata uno i as lo a chicarones!!yeah terminmose!!!que bueno tan rapido wow...ques ese rido? aaahhh ohhhh holla muchachitas...pero quen trajo estas sexy muchachas aqi?..perdon senor pero como tu queres que los biamos sin una muchacha bonita? no somos gey?...ok escojan la mas bounita i tiren las otras al agua!...escoje a esta ella puede aser buenos frejolitos con trotillas
Posted by:Joshua Paz | Jun 23, 2007 12:45:09 AM
HAHAHAAH! good shit... well said
Posted by:jackie-oh | Jun 24, 2007 3:20:21 PM
bien dicho.
Posted by: | Jun 24, 2007 10:25:25 PM
couldn't have said it better myself.
Posted by:billy-mutha-fuckin-bob | Jun 25, 2007 6:52:32 PM
you like men with big nuttsacks
Posted by:juan guiterrez | Jun 26, 2007 10:23:40 AM
Hey Carlos. You make a really good point about Evan Almighty. You should make a parody sketch about it called Beaner Almighty. I would love to see that on your show.
Posted by:Steven | Jun 28, 2007 4:59:34 PM
my whole problem with the movie is God said he wouldnt do it again .thats what the whole rainbow thing is about but ......
love your show bout fell out of my chair laughing on the CSi hong kong one.
keep up the good work...how bout a show bout beaners getting jobs americans(say they) need..no cracker would wanna do half the stuff i see beaners doing. and teach that Paz dude how to spell they make spell check for a reason what a de-de-dee
Posted by:jeffro | Jul 4, 2007 7:57:52 AM
you are so funny you make me laugh so hard you are the most funnest person ever=] love ya make me laugh more=]
Charla
K
age 12
state PA
Posted by:Charla Krupa | Jul 7, 2007 9:07:39 PM
The boss is always the white guy no? so evan is the supervisor who won't do shit but take the money, then go to home depot pay the beaners off cheap and make a few grands for nothing while the beaners build it.
Posted by:Bubu | Jul 10, 2007 1:33:19 PM
I will say it one more time. YOU ARE SO FREAKING HILARIOUS. I know that doesn't meen much and you get that all the time but it's true.
Posted by:Angelina | Jul 12, 2007 8:24:37 PM
yeah beaners!!!!!
Posted by:larry | Jul 20, 2007 3:32:46 PM
hey Carlos Im from Jamaica dude u rock but seriously i don't talk like that i would say yu a mash up de place keeo me laughing
Posted by:salvatore | Jul 22, 2007 8:03:47 PM
Re: "no cabron ya no mas pinche cabras i ya no mas pinche cabillos!! solo dos de cada animal pendejos como dejo dios!!yeha yeha andale andale!!! pinches animales!!tenemos un problema que i three puercose...pues mata uno i as lo a chicarones!!yeah terminmose!!!que bueno tan rapido wow...ques ese rido? aaahhh ohhhh holla muchachitas...pero quen trajo estas sexy muchachas aqi?..perdon senor pero como tu queres que los biamos sin una muchacha bonita? no somos gey?...ok escojan la mas bounita i tiren las otras al agua!...escoje a esta ella puede aser buenos frejolitos con trotillas"....
I have a feeling something funny is in here, but alas, I haven't mastered Spanish. I can't even speak "Crawfish" (Cajun), my own people's language!!!!! :-(. So I went to Babelfish and ets.freetranslation.com.
ets.freetranslation.com translates the above to:
"not cabron no longer but darn goats i no longer but darn stems!! alone two of each idiotic animal as abandonment God!! yeha yeha you walk him walk him!!! darn animal!! we have a problem that i three puercose. ..pues kills one i ace it to chicarones!! yeah terminmose! !!que good so rapido wow. ..ques that rido? aaahhh ohhhh holla muchachitas. ..pero quen brought these sexy girls aqi? ..perdon senor but like your want that gey? ...ok they choose the but bounita i throw the other al water! ...escoje to this she is able aser good frejolitos with trotillas"
babelfish gives me:
"not cabron but no longer damned little goats i but no longer damned little stalks of a peduncle! single two of each animal assholes as I leave dios!!yeha yeha andale andale! damned little animales!!tenemos a problem that i three puercose... because the a kills one i ace chicarones!!yeah terminmose!!!que good so fast wow... ques that rido? aaahhh ohhhh holla kids... but quen brought these sexy girls aqi?..perdon senor but like your queres that the bimasters without a pretty girl? we are not gey?... ok choose but bounita i throws the others to agua!... escoje to this she can aser good frejolitos with trotillas"
I still don't know exactly what Joshua said, but its kinda funny.
He's not macho but not a little goat either. unhappy about small manhood? God said "only 1 pair of animals, you (I can't put what I think that word is in a Something about telling the animals to hurry up. There was an inconsistency with 3 pigs instead of two, but at least they could kill one and have some pork skins? (Joshua) was glad when the movie was over...That men are identified by how nice their women look...Choose one pretty woman and throw the others overboard (? how many men are going to agree with that?) and something about little beans and tortillas(?) "
Somebody help me!!! :-)
Also tells me either how much value I can get from Babelfish and ets.FreeTranslation, :-)
Posted by:ShunaSassi | Jul 28, 2007 10:34:57 AM
As I'm sure you're all aware by now, Evan Almighty opens nationwide this weekend, and I'm sure many of you are going to rush to the theaters to see it. Look, I haven't seen the movie so I'm not going to tell you whether it's good or bad, but I do have a problem with the story. 
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