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Judge Carlos is still in session on the blog. Check out his latest decision.
CASE - "HOOTERS SUES TO PUT THE SQUEEZE ON BREASTS"
JUDGE CARLOS
In Florida, the Hooters restaurant chain is suing because their competitor’s waitresses are wearing skimpy clothes and serving fried chicken wings. Now this is an open and shut case. Hooter’s doesn’t own the monopoly on titties and shitty food. If they did, half of Las Vegas would be out of business. As well as every Tijuana strip club. Shame on you, Hooters! How dare you try to shut down a place that has hot sexy waitresses in tight skimpy clothes! Not only am I throwing the case out, but Hooters has to pay all court costs... with lap dances! Hey Hooter, if you think you have a case, then Strip Clubs should’ve been suing you years ago.
GHOST OF JOHNNIE COCHRAN
With titties and chicken you can’t go wrong.
This lawsuit makes me sad, why can’t we all just get along?
JUDGE CARLOS
I’m going to dismiss this case because the plaintiff clearly doesn’t have the best interests of the community in mind. The more restaurants with half-naked girls in it, the better.
Comments
Carlos, anyone who doesn't agree with you is either gay or supports bush
YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!
Posted by:Logan Perkins | Jul 15, 2007 8:12:21 PM
ha ha, that is hillarious. my boyfriend and i watch your show religiously every week.
Posted by:shana | Jul 15, 2007 8:49:12 PM
i love your show i love when you talk about that dumb friend and that movie
Posted by:brandon | Jul 15, 2007 9:20:01 PM
I watched your Chris Angel bit, Carlos. Seems like all the comics that are criticizing you for being a joke thief are right, check the link:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/2876
-Dingo
Posted by:Dingo | Jul 15, 2007 9:26:14 PM
i dont agreee with your comment....i have worked at hooters a long time and i even married the assistnat manager who is now the real manage not his asssistant....and we recently had to lay off 4 of our biggest womens because they felt tat there big boobs would be appreciated else where and that we werent paying them enough.....that wouldnt happen if there was competiton because then all the girls could come her and work and horney bastards like you wouldnt have to chose whether you want some spicy wings or some other food
Posted by:alexis | Jul 15, 2007 9:38:18 PM
i dont know who the hell wrote that last commet.......but it wasnt me......had to be my brother.....carlos i toaly agree with you about the hooters and with johnny cock lol....the more tittys the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by:alexis | Jul 15, 2007 9:49:17 PM
i dont know who the hell wrote that last commet.......but it wasnt me......had to be my brother.....carlos i toaly agree with you about the hooters and with johnny cock lol....the more tittys the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by:alexis | Jul 15, 2007 9:49:48 PM
where the hell did David Tyree go? I mean, he died right? Why else would you change him out?
The new dudes delivery rivals a mailman with epilepsy. DO SOMETHING!!!!!!
New Johnny Cochran S_U_C_K_S!!!!!!!
Posted by:Ed | Jul 16, 2007 12:07:23 AM
Hands down the worst show/comedian in the history of television/comedy. Carlos Mencia does for comedy what the holocaust did for the jews, except the holocaust wasn't as brutal, it made more sense, and was slightly less of a crime against humanity.
Carlos Mencia's jokes have no range outside of weak observations about race, nor do they contain an ounce of originality. When I talk about the show being a horrendous atrocity, I'm not reffering to the show being overly racist, in fact that has almost nothing to do with it. It's the constructs of the jokes themselves. They're pitiful attempts at humor. They lack any kind of intelligence whatsoever, so little in fact, that his comedy is barely one notch above a clown slipping on a banana peel. 80% of his jokes don't even have a punch line, they are just stereotypes examined to the point of obscurity.
The following paragraph is specifically for Carlos...
Yelling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Doing little twitches while telling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Pointing at the camera or various people in the audience doesn't make it funnier. Laughing hysterically at your own jokes doesn't make them funnier. Relying on stereotypes for 99.8% of your material doesn't make you funnier. Having your own show doesn't make you funny. Your not funny, nor are you by any means a respected comedian, but rather, you are a commercialized joke, a fat vulture feeding on the remains of the Chappelle show. Perhaps when you take the time to construct a joke coherently, rather than fall back on "in-yo-face"-it y, will you truly know what it means to be a comedian.
What's that you say, Carlos speaks the truth? He's brave for saying what we're all thinking and people just need to lighten up? Well then I have good news for all you Mencia fans: We can all be Carlos Mencia! Its easier than you think. Just take a sterotypical topic (like Asian drivers, Black people eating watermelon, or mexicans mowing lawns) and yell it while doing a little dance.
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED ASIANS CAN'T DRIVE!!! DEE DEE DEE!!!!
See? Wasn't that easy? I hope there are enough time slots and paychecks at Comedy Central for all of us.
Mind of Mencia's abnormal success is a dark glimpse into the comedic mind of the American majority (although we all know tv rating systems are inaccurate). To put it simply, it is simplistic, it is comedy (dare I even use that word to describe it) that requires no thinking, intelligence, or taste. The next time you laugh at his quote-unquote "jokes", ask yourself why your laughing. Is it content that is essentially clever and humorous, or is it an exploitation of obvious stereotypes that any person with half a brain can concieve?
Posted by:Mind of Mencia Sucks | Jul 16, 2007 9:02:29 PM
Hands down the worst show/comedian in the history of television/comedy. Carlos Mencia does for comedy what the holocaust did for the jews, except the holocaust wasn't as brutal, it made more sense, and was slightly less of a crime against humanity.
Carlos Mencia's jokes have no range outside of weak observations about race, nor do they contain an ounce of originality. When I talk about the show being a horrendous atrocity, I'm not reffering to the show being overly racist, in fact that has almost nothing to do with it. It's the constructs of the jokes themselves. They're pitiful attempts at humor. They lack any kind of intelligence whatsoever, so little in fact, that his comedy is barely one notch above a clown slipping on a banana peel. 80% of his jokes don't even have a punch line, they are just stereotypes examined to the point of obscurity.
The following paragraph is specifically for Carlos...
Yelling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Doing little twitches while telling a joke doesn't make it funnier. Pointing at the camera or various people in the audience doesn't make it funnier. Laughing hysterically at your own jokes doesn't make them funnier. Relying on stereotypes for 99.8% of your material doesn't make you funnier. Having your own show doesn't make you funny. Your not funny, nor are you by any means a respected comedian, but rather, you are a commercialized joke, a fat vulture feeding on the remains of the Chappelle show. Perhaps when you take the time to construct a joke coherently, rather than fall back on "in-yo-face"-it y, will you truly know what it means to be a comedian.
What's that you say, Carlos speaks the truth? He's brave for saying what we're all thinking and people just need to lighten up? Well then I have good news for all you Mencia fans: We can all be Carlos Mencia! Its easier than you think. Just take a sterotypical topic (like Asian drivers, Black people eating watermelon, or mexicans mowing lawns) and yell it while doing a little dance.
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED ASIANS CAN'T DRIVE!!! DEE DEE DEE!!!!
See? Wasn't that easy? I hope there are enough time slots and paychecks at Comedy Central for all of us.
Mind of Mencia's abnormal success is a dark glimpse into the comedic mind of the American majority (although we all know tv rating systems are inaccurate). To put it simply, it is simplistic, it is comedy (dare I even use that word to describe it) that requires no thinking, intelligence, or taste. The next time you laugh at his quote-unquote "jokes", ask yourself why your laughing. Is it content that is essentially clever and humorous, or is it an exploitation of obvious stereotypes that any person with half a brain can concieve?
Posted by:Mind of Mencia Sucks | Jul 16, 2007 9:02:43 PM
Carlos...get a real job. Maybe you should get out the way for some real comedians like George Lopez, David Chappell... you know true artisans of comedy.
Posted by:yadi | Jul 17, 2007 1:32:01 PM
Hey Carlos, tell George Lopez to write some decent material or find a yob(job) and stop writing these stupid comments as Mind of Mencia Sucks. I guess he just doesn't get the show. Keep doing what your doing. You say the stuff that I would love to say but can't.
Posted by:stan | Jul 17, 2007 1:40:30 PM
Chains of Hooters like restaurants sweeping America eh? Sounds great to me! More titties, the better off we'll be. After all, when we do go to Hooters, do we really pay attention to the chick waiting on us....or are we just staring at those delicious melons hanging on her chest? I'm thinking the latter.
Posted by:Mark | Jul 18, 2007 5:40:27 AM
Wow, why would some idiot take the time to write a book (above) which dictates their dislike for Carlos? If you don't like him, don't watch him, don't see him live, don't speak ill of a man trying to make a living by making people laugh... just do us all a favor and SHUT THE F**K UP!
Mmmm... instant gratification.
Posted by:chopperthug | Jul 31, 2007 12:36:14 AM
yo wass up carlos your show is pretty freaking awesome me and my brother watch your show all the time and we laugh every single time. and to the guy who doesnt like carlos mencia u need to SHUT THE FUCK UP Oh and mind of mencia sucks guy if u wrote about 6 paragraphs worth of writing just to say how much he sucks and putting common sence into it you must be really desprite to get him out of buisness so carlos watch ur back cause im here for u dude!
Posted by:TheBoss | Aug 14, 2007 7:53:05 PM
Whoever wrote "mind of mencia sucks". SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO CUT YOUR WRISTS!
Posted by:Mexican Prince | Aug 15, 2007 8:46:46 PM
carlos mencia is a bitch and a joke thief if i ever see him im gonna piss on him like r kelly
Posted by:dubwise | Sep 14, 2007 2:06:51 AM
Ned eats balls and hes not even mexican. what the Fox? he knows he cant lie about being black and say N****. so hes gonna fake being mexican so he can say beaner? what a idiot if i ever see him im gonna knock him out and make him eat his own german nazi sh*t ps neds mother is a pirate hooker
Posted by:the G child | Sep 16, 2007 6:30:50 PM
mencia fans are idiots and should be offened by dee dee dee cause hes talking about you. because to be a carlos"ned" fan you have to be dee dee dee aka his pick up line
Posted by:carlos menstealia | Sep 16, 2007 6:34:22 PM
Mencia is what he mocks. I feel sorry for people who enjoy his comedy because it shows just how simplistic people are. I don't understand Latinos who stick by him. Could a person of any other race get away with that? Would all Asian people cheer for South Korean Comedian who pretended to be Chinese? Or Japanese? Have some self respect, all Latin American peoples are not the same. Being brown doesn't give you the right to co-opt other peoples' culture for your own gain.
I didn't understand completely what Dave Chappelle meant when he left Comedy Central. Now I do. The fact that Mind Of Mencia has replaced his show, and continues to be successful is telling: most Americans weren't laughing with Chappelle's intelligent discourse on race and class in America, but simply at a black dude who thought he was white and joined the KKK.
Posted by:Alex | Oct 26, 2007 2:41:06 AM
Anyone can be Carlos Mencia, here's how:
Material:
Black men date white women.
Jews love money.
Achmed is a terrorist/cab driver/convenient store clerk.
Beaners are lazy and steal.
Gay people are gay.
Crackers suck pretty much nonstop.
Only Mexicans, Whites and Middle Eastern folks deserve racial slurs. Be a pussy a cherry pick the races you aren't afraid of.
Retard voice gets cheap laughs from idiots.
Make up imaginary people who don't get your complicated humor.
Pretend everyone is an idiot but you.
Lowest Common Denominator
Lowest Common Denominator
Lowest Common Denominator
Seriously I can't believe people actually consider this guy edgy or smart. He does the exact same shit thirteen year old boys have doing to annoy people for decades.
I'll take Sarah Silverman and Lisa Lampanelli any day. That's what edgy, race humor really looks like, Mencia fans. Those two women have more balls and have produced shit on accident that's funnier than anything Mencia has ever stolen from someone else. I don't even like Lampanelli but, I respect her ability to do what she does, well.
Posted by:Jason | May 31, 2008 9:39:01 AM
Addendum:
Nerds/gamers don't get laid.
Midgets are funny to look at.
Crackers suck pretty much nonstop.
Did I mention how much you should hate crackers?
Crackers.
Posted by:Jason | May 31, 2008 9:42:11 AM
Addendum:
Nerds/gamers don't get laid.
Midgets are funny to look at.
Crackers suck pretty much nonstop.
Did I mention how much you should hate crackers?
Crackers.
Posted by:Jason | May 31, 2008 9:44:26 AM
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