CROSSING THE BORDER W/ DAVID LUCKY

Everybody takes electricity for granted. You feel hot - you turn on a fan or AC. It's too dark - you turn on a light. The light is too bright for sexy time with your loved one - you can dim it. Yep, electricity is pretty much our bitch! But every once again, when we least expect it, electricity shows off it's power and tries to bite us in the ass. That being said...my story begins.

It was Tuesday 10pm, two days before show night. The only people left in the office were the computer graphic guys. who were upstairs putting the final touches on Beanerman, and the writers, who were downstairs hashing out clever rhymes for Johnnie Cochran. At around 10:05 the PA returned with some late night pizzas which always gave everybody a second wind...and horrible cramps. At 10:10 the Graphic guys and writers met in the kitchen briefly to grab a slice and cold coke...before returning to their work. That was the last time the two groups met before...the incident!

10:30. The writers are still hammering out rhymes but now with grease stained shirts, when one of the main lamps in the room went out. It was obvious to everyone in the room that the bulb burnt out, expect for the writer sitting below the lamp...who said, "I must be out of ideas. I guess I should go home then." They laughed that off as the writers assistant replaced the bulb. But when he turned the switch the lamp didn't turn on. "I think the lamp is broken," said the writers assistant. "Nonsense," said the head writer. That's when I said, "Hey! There's a plug over by me." In hind sight I should have never opened my mouth. If the lamp was supposed to work, it would have worked. I learned this lesson a few weeks back when a friendly conversation I was having with our xerox machine turned to blows.

Unfortunately, I thought of this story too late...I was already plugging the lamp into the socket. All of a sudden we heard this loud...POP! POP! POP! from the opposite side of the wall. Then a mixture of sparks and flames flew out of the socket and danced around my hand. It was sudden but if I had to guess I think it was the hot trot. I pulled away. Then it went quiet. Everybody started checking me out....but I was fine. That's when thick poisons dark clouds started billowing from the three socket holes. The smell was awful. Like burning tires with just a hint of dog poop. We all covered our mouths and ran out the front door. We alerted the stage manager and they called the fire department.

We stood outside watching the billowing dark clouds taking a tour of our office. First the main lobby then down the all to the writers' room, and then slowly upstairs to the.... "GRAPHIC GUYS!" I shouted. We stood outside the front door's threshold screaming their names. Thankfully, they soon came running around the bend.

We apologized for forgetting about them, but they weren't to upset. "We smelt the fire," one of them said. "It was like burning tires with a hint off..." "Dog poop," I added. "Right. We just wanted to make sure our files were safe before we left." The files! We had all completely forgotten. An entire season worth of work was still in their...including the back-up server and not to mention this weeks show! We had to go back in rescue the materials. There was not a moment to lose.

So one by one, the writing staff held their breathe and bolted into office. The scene was complete mayhem.  Through the black fog you could writers were  running around with one hand holding their nose and mouth....the other holding a laptop and a stack of loose papers.

While standing outside waiting for the fire department, I couldn't help but look up at the Mind of Mencia sign that hangs above the door...and think about the fire logo that appears on our show. Had this been foreshadowed all along? And why did I have to be the one to plug in the lamp? Surely I would be blamed for this.

By the time I was done talking to myself the fire department had already checked out the the building and everything seemed fine. Nothing had been damaged..and the show was safe. But let this be a reminder to you - treat your electronic equipment well. Cause you never know when they'll strike back sending all your hard work....up in smoke.