In a world where good and evil collide, one must battle to see who will come out on top.  Watch out Shell, Texaco and Chevron stations everywhere.  You are going to have a new enemy in 2010.  I'm letting you know now so that you can prepare your plan of attack.  Who's your new enemy? This guy right here.

That's right, VW is introducing a car that will get about 230 miles a gallon.  Now we can all plan those cross-country road trips we've been planning.  Except there's a catch.  You can't take anything with you because the car is tiny and you can only bring ONE other person along for the ride...and they'll have to sit behind you because that's where the other seat is.  But on the up side, you can pretend that you're in the movie Top Gun starring a pre-couch-hopping Tom Cruise.

But this isn't the only kind of car that will be in the market.  There's also one called the Aptera.  This bad boy is expected to get nearly 300 miles a gallon.  It looks like something out of the Jetsons, which frankly, frightens the hell out of me.  I know that a lot of people might be thinking, "But the Jetsons are cool, I'd love to live in a world like that."  Not me, no thank you.  I'm afraid of heights. All the buildings in the Jetsons appeared to be held up in air by magic.  The Jetsons don't live in a world that's friendly to acrophobia.

But back to the cars, who knows...maybe this is the wave of the future.  With cars that get 2 to 3 hundred miles a gallon, I'm glad that people are trying to make our gallons of gas last longer because let's face it, at the rate we're going, when these cars make their debut, gas MIGHT actually COST 200 dollars a gallon.

Seems like these days. everybody's demanding that we end our dependence on foreign oil, and move towards an alternative energy source. For some people this is because they want a cleaner alternative, one that doesn't hurt the ozone...or dig up Alaska. I can respect that. But most of you aren't worried about how this affects the environment or planet Earth -- just how it affects your wallet. You're so obvious about it too. We have been using gasoline-fueled cars since cars were invented. You never said a damn thing. Then the minute gas prices hit $4 a gallon, you were like..."There's got to be another way. Can't we use electricity?" "How about vegetable oil? Wouldn't that work?" Now everybody is an expert. 

Listen, if you think finding an alternative source of energy means less cost for you , you're freaking retarded. This is America. It's about supply and demand. If corn becomes the the new fuel for cars, instead of Exxon Moblie and Chevron, you'd have Orville Redenbacher and Jiffy Pop to deal with. And they'd charge you for even the kernels that come out of your ass. And Mexican restaurants would go out of business. Who would order a $86 tamale plate? I wouldn't care if they are the seasonal green ones. 

Look, it doesn't matter if we use gas, corn, electricity...etc. it will never be cheap. They will always try to screw us over. And now you know.

To all you people intently following both the Republican/Democratic candidates; watching live debates..showing up at Straw poles in the Midwest....you're all Dee Dee Dee's. The election isn't until a year from now. So that mean anything the candidates are talking about can't happen for about two to three years from now. That's like sitting in a movie theater watching Transformers and telling the person next to you that you're going to remake it better three years from now. You don't have a studio, money, lights...hell you haven't even made a film before. Instead, why don't you hit the beach, maybe bring some meat. Have yourself a little barbecue. Just stop wasting you time watching these candidates. It's too soon. And now you know!