I, Cristela, love SUVs. It's my favorite Law and Order. Hmm...I think I'm wrong. Let me check. Hmm...ok...uh, let me start over...

I hate SUVs. I compare them to a bully on a playground. Everytime I see them driving down the street I wonder: is my little car safe? I'm a girl. I drive a little car...it's a Mazda 3. I like little cars. One of my favorite cars that I ever drove was a Ford Focus. I like basic cars. I don't see the flash in them. I just want to drive from A to B with a dependable car.

SOME PEOPLE LOVE SUVs and drive their gas-guzzlers with pride. Well gas-guzzlers, suck up the fun while it lasts because after reading this story, your days might be numbered.

Part of the article reads:

The Chicago Tribune reports, "General Motors announced a bold attempt Tuesday to wean itself from a dependency on large SUVs…declaring that gasoline prices won't retreat and the company must sell more small cars, some battery powered." The automaker is closing four plants that make the large vehicles, and CEO Rick Wagoner has "said the future of the company's Hummer franchise is in review, with an overhaul of the military-style vehicle lineup or a complete or partial sale of the division possible."

Oh damn, but if that happens, how are we going to know what American is better than the other one? Are we going to have to start wearing t-shirts with our checking account balance on them? Because I'm all for being taken down a notch. I deserve it, don't I HUMMER drivers?

You can see what stand I'm taking huh? I guess I shouldn't be so mean. I actually feel really bad for the soccer moms. What are they going to do now? NO!!!!! My prayers are with you...

I know, I sound like a hippie. Mencia talked about people that drive Prius and how they were wusses but really, I disagree with that idea (oooh, disagree with Mencia on a Mind of Mencia blog? How dare I?). I'm very pro-green and frankly, this news story makes me smile...and hum...I guess that makes me a HUMMER. Whoops, too soon?

BRASS BALL AWARD GOES TO:

PARIS HILTON

We may all love to hate her, but you have admire her effort. She was arrested for her third DUI and yet still argues that she should not go to jail because she has been unfairly targeted by the police. You got to be kidding me? Move out of the way black people. Looks like rich, white, heiresses are the new target of the LAPD. Maybe the videos that appear on YouTube every day showing her exiting night clubs drunk and then getting into her car has something to do with it. Anyway, what really sealed the award for her was the fact that when the judge told her no,  she decided to take her case to Governor Schwarzenegger! Congratulations Paris, you win a Brass Balls award from the Mind of Mencia. Just promise me I won't see a video of you playing with your award in a sexual nature.

And to Paris Hilton's Dad, because I think you're partly to blame, while your daughter's in jail I think you should do some public service. Since your daughter refuses to drive anywhere sober, I order you to  spend some of your hundreds of millions and do the public a service...Get your spoiled boney ass princess a freaking chaffuer!