So I was watching VH1 and I didn't even know it. Have you ever done that? It's like you're watching something for hours and then it hits you, "What the hell did I do with my Sunday?"

I watched "Brooke Knows Best" this past weekend and the one thing I learned overall: The title is a lie. The premise of the show is that Brooke Hogan (as in Hulk Hogan's kin) has "moved out on her own" and gotten a bad-ass condo (which I'm still wondering why life isn't fair).

I still haven't gotten to the part where Brooke sends women back 20 years. Here it is actually. I actually found this in the news. When I first saw this, I wondered what Brooke had done to make headlines. That is when I clicked on the article and realized that the news story was a quote from "Brooke Knows Best."

In the quote, Brook says:

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time, I know I couldn't be able to run a country, 'cause I'd be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?"

OMG!!!!! Dude, what the hell were you thiinking? If you can't speak about politics, then DON'T speak about politics. This quote just makes her sound so dumb.

Oh man, women with their PMS! What is she? A hacky female comedian? I had to give her this DDD Award a day earlier than what I usually do because I think, "Why wait to call someone a DDD?" So thank you Brooke Hogan, for making all the progress that women have made in the past decades seem like a really bad chick flick.

I figured that since I focused on Joseph earlier, it's only fair that I talk about Brad from Mind of Mencia. Not only is he featured on the show, but he also opens for Carlos Mencia on the road along with me. He started working with Mencia before I did actually.

I started working with Mencia when he came to the Addison IMPROV over three years ago. Brad hosted the show, Steve Trevino featured. When I met Brad, he was a communications major at USC (and he's totally a USC nut to this day). He was going to school and working with Mencia in his free time.

Soon after, he started getting busier with Mencia and decided to "take a leave" from college to focus on stand-up. He's traveled the country with Mencia and has become a very popular personality namely because I think he's one of the handful of dwarf comics out there and is very likable. He is now doing a couple of gigs in the summer solo, before he tours with Mencia this fall. He posted his dates on his blog and I figured I would pass it along because many of you know him from the show and might want to see him live.

This is one of those videos that shows what happens "between the breaks" at the tapings of Mind of Mencia. I wanted to show this one because it has to be one of my favorite.

Here's the set-up. At the taping, we were talking about Robert Schimmel, a comedian that I've blogged about before and Mencia tells a joke that Schimmel told him at a taping they did together about Hitler. It's a funny joke...but then again...I laugh at pretty much everything. So this is a video that shows Mencia telling a "Jewish" joke (though when you think of Jewish joke you think of the stock..."what do Jewish women make for dinner? Reservations) then after...the audience gets a really cool surprise when Cheech Marin, who is at the taping doing the act 3, comes out and says a Jewish joke himself.

To be able to see Cheech tell a joke in person is such a freakin' awesome thing for me. It kinda reminds me of the George Carlin blog I wrote about earlier in the week. It's funny because I feel that when you have no tie to the entertainment industry, you see these people (as I did when I was a little kid) and don't realize that they're "real". Know what I mean?

I remember seeing Cheech and Chong movies and not knowing why they were funny (I was about 10). I remember seeing "Born in East LA" over and over again on HBO (Hey, was happening?). It's weird though because when I was a kid, NEVER IN MY LIFE did I think that I would ever get a chance to REALLY see Cheech up close. It's so surreal.

So here's the behind the scenes video that shows Mencia and Cheech telling jokes...though Cheech says one and Mencia says about three I think. Oh and by the way, I made Mencia tell the second one that could be considered really offensive. Sorry if you're offended but really, get over it, there just jokes.

I love Batman. Growing up I used to watch the TV series from the 60’s (POW! KABOOM! graphics pop into my head). I watched the movie that stemmed from it, you know the one that had Batman and Robin up against the Joker, Penguin, Catwoman and the Riddler?

When Tim Burton came out with the Batman movie starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson I didn’t get to see it till it came out on VHS (dating myself much?). I remember that when it came out, my sister Julie had just given birth to my first nephew, Sergio, and had come down to the Rio Grande Valley to visit us. We rented the movie and saw it over and over again, not getting enough of it. Needless to say, I made it a point to see the next one with Danny Devito as the Penguin. Hell, I even saw the atrocious Batman and Robin and Batman Forever.

I really thought I was over the Batman franchise…until Batman Begins....oh damn it, in the words of Al Pacino in Godfather 3: Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULL ME BACK IN! I love this movie...and now we have Dark Knight coming out next month. I'm counting down the days. Here is my question though: Do you think that people will be able to be objective when they see this movie and not automatically like it because of the late Heath Ledger?

And I mean no disrespect to Ledger at all. From what I see, I love what he did with the Joker. I like that it's completely different from previous Jokers. I just wonder if people will be able to be unbiased and criticize it for its own merit?

To me, it's kinda weird to see Dark Knight knowing that Heath has passed. It truly is a "last performance" of sorts. I don't know...am I just being overdramatic? I think that in many ways, Heath Ledger really was in fact, the Dark Knight.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing this movie....anything that will block my memories of Batman Forever....yuck.

I always talk about myself here. Mainly because it's my blog (Cristela). The goal is to talk about Mind of Mencia-related manners and throw in some current affair stuff that I know MOM viewers will like to read about.

Well, today I must talk about someone very important to me, whom I NEVER had the pleasure of meeting. I was reading the news yesterday and read that George Carlin had died of heart failure yesterday. It's weird how even not personally knowing him-I felt like I did.

This takes me back to when Richard Pryor died. Both of these men are such legends in the stand-up community. When I started out in stand-up, I always heard the same names thrown around with "legendary" status. Among the sea of Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce and a handful of others, you would always hear the name George Carlin in that group. These were some of the people that you had to respect and within good reason.

I grew up in a very poor town. Of course I didn't know it was poor till I moved out of it. But then again, I guess that's a good thing. If you grow up happy, it doesn't really matter how much money you have.

Even though I didn't have money, my mother always made sure we had cable TV. For her, that was making it. She always said, "We can have no place to live...we could be living in a park...but we'll always have cable tv." I think part of it was because I was a latch-key child. I think the first time I stayed alone, I was about 8. Today in age, that would be crazy, I think it was crazy back then too but if you have no choice, you have to make money somehow. My mother would go and work at the local restaurant "Garza's Cafe" which was THE place to go for Mexican in this town (San Juan, TX).

It was then that I fell in love with comedy...stand-up comedy. I would watch the HBO specials with comedians (even though I had no idea they were comedians-I was a kid). I would sneak around and stay up to watch Carson and Letterman (the best late night combo ever). It was on Carson, that I discovered Mr. George Carlin. I was really little. I laughed though I had absolutely no idea why.

It wasn't till I was older that I realized what strides this man had made. He was able to really give his opinions about everything and anything. He didn't say things because he knew they would be funny, he'd say them because he felt that they HAD to be said.

He is best known for the "Seven Words You Can't Say on Televsion" which I obviously can't include in this blog (which I guess means they're also the "Seven Words You Can't Type on a Blog") but the man believed in what Lenny Bruce did-abolishing censorship. Being able to say what you want when you want it. Truth being: Why should you have to censor your ideas, your thoughts, if these are what make you the person you are today?

I respected George Carlin a lot. And I still do. Just because he's passed, doesn't mean that the legend disappears. In fact, it makes me remember him even more because when someone that you truly respect passes, you have to make an effort to remember what that person left behind.

George Carlin, you will be missed...and most importantly, you will always be remembered.

Earlier in the week I wrote about how I detest the attention we've given to "Hannah Montana-gate" about the "questionable" photos of Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair. I wrote about how there are so many more serious problems in the world that exist and how we shouldn't focus on fluff like Disney-gate. So in an effort to do so, I have decided to talk about the story I read about the arrest of two former managers at Bear Stearns that were charged with "on securities fraud and other charges linked to the collapse of a hedge fund that bet heavily on subprime mortgages before the market collapsed," federal authorities said.

Um, ok, this is definitely not working....in fact I had to copy and paste that quote from the article I read because I couldn't translate it into simpler terms. I have no idea what happened with the Bear Stearns people. In fact, I thought Bear Stearns was an angry forest animal till a minute ago. I've failed miserably...um...let's talk about something more interesting, shall we? Let's go to Stearns to Spears.

UNWED TEENAGE MOTHERS UNITE, you have now been blessed with your leader. Jamie Lynn Spears has given birth to a baby girl y'all! She is now the most famous unwed teen mother of them all! I heard she named her baby "Fried Chicken". Kidding, but isn't that believable?

All kidding aside, we here at Mind of Mencia would like to extend our best wishes to Jamie Lynn and Mr. Jamie Lynn Spears (the 'baby daddy'-what's his face). Congratulations to the baby! You're now the newest "Baby Spears"!

Every once in a while, there exists a man that breaks through the mold to bring us a nugget of wisdom. I think that this man captures our generation in the followin g verse:

"But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think he'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo"

-Billy Ray Cyrus

Maybe you weren't aware of this wordsmith. Billy Ray Cyrus or "Miley Cyrus' Dad" as he now goes by. Well he's been making headlines lately attacking Annie Leibovitz (by the way, I copy and pasted her name-too hard for me to spell) comparing her to paparazzi (think TMZ). If you haven't seen the controversial picture, it features Miley Cyrus wearing pasties and holding a riding crop. Ok, not really. Actually, it's not really that big of a deal to me. The picture has Miley Cyrus wrapped in a blanket and nothing else with her back towards the camera. Actually, it's not really that big of a deal to me. Does that make me a pervert? (This is Cristela, not Carlos Mencia writing this so I'm the one asking about the pervert thing).

Miley Cyrus' Dad (who used to sport a mullet) said that he wasn't at the shoot when the infamous picture was taken for Vanity Fair. Though, if you see the photo shoot, there's a shoot of Miley Cyrus and her dad in the spread. Weird. "I wasn't there when they took the controversial photograph," Billy Ray told Access. "I took my picture with Miley and then had to go catch a flight, so I wasn't there."

Here's my take on it: GET THE F*&^ OVER IT! Look, Hannah Montana is HUGE. Disney re-vamped Lizzy McGuire. I go to 7-11 and they have the Hannah Montana candy. I get it: SHE'S HUGE!

Let's not care about this picture. Annie Leibovitz is an amazing talent that has taken some of the most beautiful photos around. Let's not insult this woman with this ridiculous controversy. Truth of the matter is, Leibovitz didn't take the picture and just paste it into the magazine. There are SO MANY CHANNELS that they have to go through to get these pictures into the magazine. NO ONE dropped the ball. Truth of the matter is, NO ONE thought it would be a big deal...and guess what? It's not.

You know what's a big deal? That this country might be on the cusp of having its first black president (historical), gas prices hitting five dollars this Fourth of July, that and troops are still in Iraq fighting and dying. Get over yourselves, THE MILEY CYRUS PHOTO IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT!

If you guys saw the show last night, you saw that we had a special guest. It was Billy Dee Williams. A lot of people might recognize him. Others might not. Back in the day, he was a spokesperson for Colt 45....but most importantly....he was Lando Calrissian in Star Wars!!!

It was such an honor to have him on the show. To meet him. It reminds me of the numerous times I watched Empire Strikes Back when I was younger. Back at a time when I was just a poor little latch-key kid that searched to get away from things by watching TV.

It's weird to see someone that you saw so many times growing up. It's like you know that they exist but sometimes you forget they're "real". Know what I mean? It's the moment that you see them in real life that you realize, "What the hell am I doing meeting them?" It's very Wayne's World (I'm not worthy!)

Having him on the show was a great experience that I'll never forget. And let's face it, he's probably the smoothest Obama impersonator you'll ever meet.

Hey guys! It's Cristela. You know, after Aaron Spelling's death, I'm sure we all wondered, "How are the Spellings going to make it? Was Tori Spelling's mom, Candy, going to have to take an office job? Can a family REALLY live on a mere $600 million dollars?"

Well, you don't have to worry anymore because Candy Spelling has just hit the jackpot, literally. I read it on TMZ, so it must be credible and true. Turns out that Candy was playing the high limit slot machines and won $180K....

<----Doesn't she look like she needs the money?

Now if that isn't enough to wonder why life isn't fair, this isn't the first time she's hit the jackpot (aside from marrying Aaron Spelling). She actually won $200K at the SAME CASINO (Bellagio-you know, the casino with the water fountain show) a YEAR AGO. WHAT???

Man, she's won more in those two times than I make in about 5 years. I'm happy when I win 5 bucks at the penny Wheel-of-Fortune slot machines. Really, what's next for Dulce (that's Candy in Spanish)? She'll probably go to a garage sale and find the holy grail.

I have to let you go, I need to make some Ramen...and drink some generic soda (Shasta anyone?)

I was on the internet doing research for a trip I'm making and found this lawsuit that I thought was a little dee dee dee. The plaintiff is Glamour Shots. You know this company, the ones that make ANYONE look good by dressing them up in feather boas, sailor hats or just flat out making the whole picture a little blurry.

It seems like these guys are suing the mega-monster that is...oh damn, shall I say it? (whispers) Walt Disney. I said it.

Yes, so Glamour Shots is suing Disney for a candy they are marketing called "Hannah Montana Glamour Shots Candy" claiming that using the name "Glamour Shots" in the title makes people believe that Glamour Shots made the candy....

UM, WHAT???? You're suing because you're afraid that your company will be associated with the MILLION-DOLLAR-TOO-NICE-THAT-EVEN-PUPPIES-ARE-ANNOYED teenage sweetheart that is Hannah Montana. Why would anyone complain about being connected to a million dollar franchise?

I rule in favor of Disney, not only because I think that Glamour Shots was very dee dee dee to even consider suing but also because I would love to talk to you about future projects...need I mention Snow Dogs 2? I did a mock-up so that you would see what it'd look like...