Economists have been saying that we are in a recession. Are we? I don't know. What I do know is that the economy sucks, gas prices are high and we need to do something to fix it.. What do you do? Well, I, Cristela, went out on a fact-finding mission and found it in an old episode of the Golden Girls. It seems the "Golden Girls" were in hard times and wanted to buy a new TV, so the girls decided to have a garage sale. That's when I thought: OH MY GOD! That's exactly what we need to do. The United States needs to pin up signs across the neighborhood because it's time for "AMERICA'S GARAGE SALE!" Think about it....we have so many things we don't use!!!!

Like coming in at #1: THE LIBERTY BELL

Come on guys, let's face it. It's cracked. We haven't used it in years. I say we make a rule: Anything that's broken for over 200 years and we don't fix it? We toss it out...we don't need it. Let's tag that one and see how much money we can get for it...

#2: BRANSON, MO

Look, Branson, MO isn't doing anything for us. I mean, it's billed "The Family-Friendly Las Vegas". Um yeah, that's what I need...Vegas without the sin. What's next? Iraq with no war? Tag it up and we can haggle with this one too if needed.

#3: THE ALAMO

Pee Wee Herman showed it had no basement. Most importantly, people always say that we need to remember the Alamo. But who really does? Do you ever wake up in the morning and say, "Hmm, what do I have to do today? I have to go to the cleaners, pick up groceries...and oh yeah, REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" TAG IT AND MOVE ON!

#4: PARIS HILTON

She's been used by everyone in the US; we need to send her to another country where she can be used some more. I say this because I believe in recycling.

#5: THE FIRST AMENDMENT

Let's face it-we haven't used this puppy in a long time.

Actually, that one already sold. It was the first one to go. Warren Buffet bought it and said that he intends to break it down into smaller amendments. Congrats Warren, hope you're happy with it. But remember, everyone else...we have a ton of stuff that is still available so just look up the listings on Craigslist because AMERICA IS HAVING A GARAGE SALE!

Here's what today's top story should've been.

In a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment.

Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only orphans that could be found quickly, were a litter of weanling pigs. The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops? Take a look...you won't believe your eyes!!

If this isn't proof that we all can't get along...I don't know what is!