I hope you're ready because it's time for our prestigious Dee Dee Dee award that is given only to those who have expressed a knack for being stupid. This week's winner comes to us from Wisconsin. What's soooooo "dee dee dee" about this guy? Well, he's been arrested for faking heart attacks to avoid paying bills. What?

That's right. The story says that the man ran up a $23 bill at Applebee's and pretended to have a heart attack in order to get out of it and that was only after he taken a cab to the mall and pretended to have a heart attack to avoid paying the fare.

Well, his Applebee heart attack is the one that did him in. Turns out the fire department took him to a hospital where the doctor recognized him as the guy who did the same thing weeks earlier. He was charged with "defrauding a restaurant as a habitual criminal." The article says he could get up to 9 months in prison and a $10k fine.

Ok, let's talk about this...the dude faked a heart attack to get out of a $23 bill at Applebee's. Let's stop right here first. It's Applebee's. I mean, if you're doing something bad and there's a chance you can get caught...do it big...go to the most awesome restaurant in your town and go nuts. I mean, it's like when you were younger and missed curfew...well, stay out longer then, you're ALREADY in trouble. Secondly, the guy is facing a possible $10,000 fine? If I were that guy, I'd want to kill myself. Can you imagine what he must be thinking: "dude, if I could do that over again, I would so pay the $23 buck...it's better than $10,000!" And really, how the hell do you come up with an idea like that? I mean, you're obviously creative, you thought of faking heart attacks....but you're obviously a con guy...so I guess what I'm saying is that if you're going to con someone, make sure it's a cool scheme so that you seem like a bad ass if you get caught. I read this story and thought this guy was a dumbass. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!!

So for this guy, I reward you the DDD Award of the week...you, my friend, are a freakin' moron. But I guess I have to thank you because if stupid people like you didn't exist, there would be no DDD awards to give. So thanks stupid!

I have to talk about this one. I just read about this and it made me say WTF! There's a car dealership in Missouri that is offering you a "free with purchase" gift that you would probably never guess in your life: GUNS! Now at Max Motors, if you buy a car, you can choose either a $250 gas card of $250 credit at a gun store.

The article reads, "Every buyer so far 'except one guy from Canada and one old guy' has elected to take the gun, Muller said. Muller recommends his customers select a Kel-Tec .380 pistol." OH DAMN! Who does this? That's exactly what a new car owner needs, A GUN!

Why do I get the feeling that not everyone buying a car at this place is a good guy? Why do I feel like they're going to start making commercials where this company caters to car-jackers:

"Have you been thinking about starting a new career? Maybe car-jacking? Here at Max Motors, we want to make that happen by introducing you to our new "Missouri Loves Company" campaign that will give you the tools to be a successful car-jacker: a new car...and a gun!"

Ugh, Max Motors, what were you thinking? Dee Dee Dee!

So this week's DEE DEE DEE Award goes to Melissa Dennison of Truckee, CA. This 23-year-old woman got arrested and booked with a DUI FOR THE SECOND TIME IN 5 MONTHS after she crashed at THE SAME EXACT SPOT from the first arrest.

Are you kidding me? Really? She got busted TWO TIMES for the not only the same charge but at the SAME PLACE? This girl needs to lay off the alcohol and start memorizing the phone to a cab. I can understand getting two speeding tickets in 5 months (maybe) but if you're still dealing with a DUI from less than half a year ago...you need to calm it! You would think at the very least if she got drunk she would, I don't know, find ANOTHER way home? A different path? Maybe? When I was a little kid I burned my hand touching the stove, you know what I learned? NOT TO TOUCH THE STOVE ANYMORE. If I could learn that lesson why couldn't she?!

So congratulations Melissa Dennison! You have won this week's DEE DEE DEE Award! Let's open up a bottle of champagne to celebra------um, why don't you just have some soda?

Ok, so I was reading the news today and found one of those stories that seem like they're made up by The Onion.  You have to read it to believe it. Come on! Really?  JetBlue made a passenger on a cross-country flight sit in the bathroom for over 3 hours?   From what I read, the passenger's seat was given to a flight attendant on the flight.  Then the flight experienced turbulence and the passenger had to stay seated in his seat WITH NO SEAT BELT!!!

COME ON!  How many of us haven't spent hours our lives listening to the safety procedures on a plane?  They always talk about how important it is FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.  How can you turn around and say...."IT'S IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE TO FASTEN THEIR SEAT BELTS....EXCEPT THE GUY SITTING IN THE TOILET...I'M SURE YOU'LL BE OK!"

Now the passenger is suing for $2 million dollars...which JetBlue said they will gladly pay in travel vouchers that have numerous black-out dates.  Kidding. That's not true. I'm scared to death of flying.  Hate it.  You try to tell me that you’re not going to give me a seat belt and I'll go into straight up Latina mode.  "Oh hell, no.  You are not going to tell me that I am NOT getting a seat belt?  You better give me rope or something before I get crazy up in here!"  Ok, I really don't talk like that, but you get the idea.

SO JETBLUE, I INDUCT YOU INTO A VERY PRESTIGIOUS GROUP OF HONOREES.  A GROUP SO EASY TO GET INTO, YET SO DIFFICULT TO LEAVE!  FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT BECAUSE I'M PRESENTING YOU WITH THE DEE DEE DEE AWARD!

It's that time of year again. Time to select the nominations for the 2nd Annual Dee-Dee-Dee Awards! Here are this years categories:

   

  CELEBRI-DEE DEE DEE OF THE YEAR

  DEE-DEE-DEE RATED MOVIE

  NATIONAL DEE-DEE-DEE NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR

  POLITICAL DEE-DEE-DEE OF THE YEAR

  SMALL TOWN/LOCAL DEE DEE DEE OF THE YEAR

The award season has begun. So now I open it up it to you. I will be posting stories "For Your Consideration" but feel free to post people or stories you think should win a Dee-Dee-Dee Award!  Especially the "Local Dee-Dee-Dee of the year." If something happened in your hometown that made the news, please let me know!

The nominations will be announced April 29th on this blog after Sunday's show.                                    

                                                                                                        - D. Luck -