QUOTE WALL VII - vote now!

Here are the nominees.

#1. A victim of suicide. How Can you be a victim of something you did to yourself? Doesn't victim imply that you had nothing to do with it? Under those rules, I'm a masturbation victim.

#2. Kristie Alley should not be a runway model...unless of course the runway is at LAX.

#3. Funny. Funny, how? I'm amazing the things I do? Like a Clown?

It's now time to vote on your favorite quote from Episode #304!
Here are this weeks nominees:

#1. You may say a lot of bad things about America, but the black people are not going back to Africa, and the Mexicans aren't going..they're coming.

#2. This is how much it sucks for white people. In order for you to hear the things you want to say but can't...you had to tune in to hear a Beaner say it for you. You're welcome, crackers.

#3. What? You think I'm gay? Would you willing to bet your wife on it? Come on. Just give me five minutes. I'll do all sorts of gay stuff to her. With my big gay tool.

#4. I hate podiums.

#5. Kiss my fat black ass, Jenny Craig. If I want chocolate cake, I'm gonna have real chocolate cake.

#6. When Jesus said "Suffer the little children to come onto me" that is not what he meant, you scumbag pieces of shit.

#7. Because of you, every time I take kids on a field trip they call an Amber Alert.

Check out Carlos' new Mencia Minute entitled British Soldiers.
And, no, he's not talking about Sgt. Pepper!

Now that you're done....post something!

As you saw on the show this week you're an idiot if you don't pay your taxes.  Some of you I'm sure were watching the show going..."Oh-oh! I knew I had to do something this week." It's important to pay your taxes but I know if you can't afford a fancy accountant it can be a lot of work. You're in your kitchen surrounded by papers screaming... "W-2? What's a W-2? Can I send in WD-40?" So that's why I'm going to give you a few helpful                               tips when it comes to deductions.

There is a big difference between what's Deductible vs. what's Non-Deduction. Hope this helps you!

DEDUCTION: You can deduct for each one of your babies
NON DEDUCTION: Each of your baby's Daddys.

DEDUCTION: Company business dinner with clients.
NOT A DEDUCTION: Monkey business  meeting w/ your hot secretary.

DEDUCTION: Reforestation, replanting trees.
NOT A DEDUCTION: Rogaine, replanting your hair.

DEDUCTION: Making your office larger for work.
NOT A DEDUCTION: Making your wife's boobs larger

DEDUCTION: Gas to go to business-related meetings.
NOT A DEDUCTION: Gas to go to King Taco at 2am to with your unemployed buddies.

It's now time to vote on your favorite quote from Episode #303!
Here are this weeks nominees:

#1. "If you're gonna say Dee-Dee-Dee, say it right! It's three syllables. It's Dee, followed by Dee, followed by Dee!"

#2. "Set him free! Set him free! Lord Almighty set this black man free!"

#3. "Welcome to "Are you Smarter than a Wetback?" The show where Wetbacks don't pick lettuce, they pick answers."

#4. Welcome to Guatemala: the Taint of Central America.

#5. Mind of a Midget!

As always if anything else resonated with you from the show - feel free to write-in your favorite quote!

Okay! The votes have been tallied and we have our quote winner from Episode #2.

The winning quote is:  "Saddam is not the only one hung around here!"

This quote has officially been added to the quote wall. Make sure you mark down your favorite quotes from tonight's episode. We will list our favorites tomorrow!

                                                         - D.Luck-

So now that last weeks winner has been announced - it's time to vote on the quote of week two. Here are your nominees:

#1. V-Chip. Helping dumb-ass parents avoid responsibility since 2000!

#2. What happens in the Blue-Zone, stays in the Blue-Zone!

#3. Saddam is not the only person who's hung around here!

#4. You give me such hard!

This is the latest Ask Carlos segment called "Believe in Yourself."
Go watch it - you might actually get inspired.

So after all the voting last week - it seems that the "write in" won the vote.
The first quote to be tagged on the quote wall is......(drum-roll)

            "Your Mom is so hot...I'd bang her in front of my wife."
                                                                                                     - Carlosaurus Rex -

Check back to the blog - to vote on the Quote of the Show #2