Science

The Inconvenient Truth is FINALLY Convenient

May 26, 2008 AT 08:30AM | Comments (4)

After years of hearing about this global warming fad and getting bored of this "Go Green" initiative, Cristela is happy to report that we're FINALLY on the verge of a breakthrough. A really big one at that which makes me really happy because, like Kabbalah, I was getting REALLY tired of this trend.

Over the weekend, NASA celebrated the arrival of the Phoenix. No, not Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (though I'm going to say that I think some NASA people are probably HUGE Harry Potter fans). I'm talking about the Phoenix Mars Lander. I was reading about it in the Associated Press where I learned that the Phoenix is actually going to be the third Mars Lander that will be researching the environment on the Red Planet.

This makes me VERY happy because I know that, for as long as I can remember, Mars has always been considered what I call "Earth's Runner-up", meaning that in case Earth can no longer function, Mars will take its place and now with the Phoenix landing, I see the plan is working.

Think about it: We're not even close to going to Mars (you know, like on vacation), but we're ALREADY polluting it! GENIUS! We can say it's "research", but I know better. This is a way to start making Mars feel more like home, kinda like an Earth 2.0. We keep sending all these Mars Landers and pretty soon, we'll starting sending other stuff like old couches, tires, maybe some trash that needs a home. Who knows?

I'm just really excited! Maybe we can pollute Mars at a quicker pace than Earth! THANKS NASA! YAY!

81234422_2

High Gas Prices? Meet your enemy...the cars that runs on hopes and dreams.

May 16, 2008 AT 12:00AM | Comments (3)
Gasprices In a world where good and evil collide, one must battle to see who will come out on top.  Watch out Shell, Texaco and Chevron stations everywhere.  You are going to have a new enemy in 2010.  I'm letting you know now so that you can prepare your plan of attack.  Who's your new enemy? This guy right here.

That's right, VW is introducing a car that will get about 230 miles a gallon.  Now we can all plan those cross-country road trips we've been planning.  Except there's a catch.  You can't take anything with you because the car is tiny and you can only bring ONE other person along for the ride...and they'll have to sit behind you because that's where the other seat is.  But on the up side, you can pretend that you're in the movie Top Gun starring a pre-couch-hopping Tom Cruise.

But this isn't the only kind of car that will be in the market.  There's also one called the Aptera.  This bad boy is expected to get nearly 300 miles a gallon.  It looks like something out of the Jetsons, which frankly, frightens the hell out of me.  I know that a lot of people might be thinking, "But the Jetsons are cool, I'd love to live in a world like that."  Not me, no thank you.  I'm afraid of heights. All the buildings in the Jetsons appeared to be held up in air by magic.  The Jetsons don't live in a world that's friendly to acrophobia.

But back to the cars, who knows...maybe this is the wave of the future.  With cars that get 2 to 3 hundred miles a gallon, I'm glad that people are trying to make our gallons of gas last longer because let's face it, at the rate we're going, when these cars make their debut, gas MIGHT actually COST 200 dollars a gallon.

Mencia Blog
Contributors
Send Carlos a question


Most Recent Videos
Top Posts
comedians




Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed on this blog are the personal opinions of our bloggers, and in no way reflect the opinions of Comedy Central, MTV Networks or Viacom.

Warning:
Some blogs or websites linked from this site may contain objectionable or uncensored content. Comedy Central is not affiliated with these websites and makes no representations or warranties as to their content.

Privacy Statement

Terms and Conditions